West Stuck
by sbdrag
Summary: AU of Homestuck in the West; mutliple pairings: Karkat/John, Rose/Kanaya, Terezi/Dave, Dave/Sollux, and more. John and terezi are the sheriffs of Veiltown. So wht do they do when Karkat appears on the wanted posters? Not much as sheriffs, actually.
1. Chapter 1

"Looks like there's a new wanted poster up."

John Egbert was the assistant sheriff of Veiltown, assistant to none other than the infamous Terezi Pyrope. Terezi had become a legend for ridding Veiltown of Jack Noir and his gang of ruffians, as well as the rival group of bandits known as the Felt. And it was rumored she'd had some supernatural help, being blind and all, but it only added to her infamy, and that was the way Terezi liked it. Terezi grinned her typical predatory grin as she and her assistant strolled down the near deserted street.

"Ja-ohn, that poster has been in the station for a week now," she said, chuckling as her cane tapped against the posts of the buildings they passed.

"Oh, really? I didn't notice," John said, grinning happily. One might think this was a bad thing for the sheriff's assistant to say. One would be wrong.

"How could you not notice? I mean, he's even pretty cute," Terezi said. "Way more than that Nic Gage character you like in all your silly novels."

"Hey, don't be putting down Con Land! It's like, the best novel ever!" John said, and Terezi laughed.

"Yeah, sure," she said, grinning. John smiled anyway, then looked up in thought.

"So… are we actually gonna catch this guy? What did he do?" he asked. Terezi continued to grin as she shrugged.

"I didn't taste a reason on the poster. And the guy's new in town, so I don't know much about him," she said.

"So you think it's just another one of Mayor Eridan's failed love attempts?" John asked, having a bit of a hard time keeping up with Terezi. For a blind girl, she was fast.

"Well, since he's a troll and cute, I'm gonna go with a yesss," Terezi said, grinning at a few shady characters as they passed by. The men quickly dispersed, hightailing it in different directions until they were out of Terezi's senses.

"You keep talking about how cute this guy is," John said as the pair turned into a lively saloon. It was owned by the pair's close friends, and they would often stop there for the free drinks it offered and general good atmosphere. "Are you, what's it called? Flushing for him or something?"

"Psh, like I would start flushing for some fake outlaw," Terezi said as John took a seat at the bar, waving to one of the owners, Rose, who smiled back and indicated she would be with him in a moment.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot, you're only into real outlaws; like the one chatting up my sister by the piano," John said, smiling.

"What?" Terezi said, frowning as she looked over her shoulder where her outlaw lover, Dave Strider, was indeed chatting up Egbert's half sister, Jade Harley. "Gog damn that Strider."

John laughed as he turned away, and something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head, then fully turned in his seat as he saw the guy on the wanted posters.

He was a troll that looked about Egbert's age, and he sat hunched over his drink. He seemed to be fuming over something, and was a bit lost in his own little world. But I gave John time to really look him over. He was a bit lean, but in a good way, with bright, intelligent (if brooding) eyes and the black clothes he wore seemed to suit him. And, John had to admit, he was pretty cute.

It was at that moment that the alleged outlaw seemed to feel John's gaze and looked over. They made eye contact, and John smirked a bit. Pretty cute wasn't as accurate as he thought; the kid was damn adorable, at least in John's opinion. The way those eye looked, guarded and angry, just made John want to get closer to the troll.

"Heheh," Terezi laughed over his shoulder, and John turned back to see her predatory grin back in place. "Now who's flushing for the fakey fake outlaw?"

"No way! I was just… taking his measure, that's all," John said, smiling a bit nervously. Terezi chuckled again, retrieving her cane from where she'd leaned it against the bar.

"Sure, sure," she said. "Just go talk to your little crush while I save your sister from a ruffian."

"Okay, I'll do that," John said, but not before watching Terezi stroll over and casually smack Dave between the legs with her cane, grinning as she apologized and Jade looked concerned and surprised. Then he turned to look at the "outlaw" again. He thought about what Terezi had said, then grinned. If he was flushing, then maybe he was flushing. He already knew Rose and Kanaya, the two female owners of the club, were in a loving relationship, so he guessed it didn't really matter for two guys, either; he had just thought he was of those men that flushed for girls, was all. But enough thinking, it was time for action.

"What, staring not enough for you now, fuckass? Gotta ruin my drink with your gog damn mouth, too?" the outlaw asked as John shifted a seat over to talk to him. John was taken aback a moment, but then smiled happily.

"I'm John, John Egbert, sheriff's assistant," he said, holding out his hand. The outlaw flinched a minute, then snorted and took a swig of his drink.

"And what stupid fuck hired a stupid fuck like you?" he asked, clearly of the belief that John did not know he was on the wanted posters around town. John just smiled, waiting. "What? I'm not going shake your damn hand, fuckass, so you can just piss off."

"Well, could you tell me your name? I mean, the posters only have a picture and all…" the outlaw choked on his drink at the mention of the wanted poster, then glared at John sidelong.

"Are you fucking serious? Do you just fucking chat up every sorry fucker that gets on the shitacular wanted poster, or are you just a fucking retard?" he asked. John laughed. It seemed to catch the outlaw off guard, and the troll just stared a minute.

"You're funny," John said. The outlaw's face colored a bit, and John was surprised to see his blush was red. He didn't know trolls had red blood; he would have to ask Terezi about it later. Right now, the outlaw seemed to be getting more angry with him.

"So what? You're just some stupid fuck they picked off the gog damn streets, aren't you? Just some dumbshit stupid mother fucker walking down the gog damn street before they asked if you wanted to be the gog damn fucking sheriff's assistant, and then you took the fucking job cause you thought you would be some fucking hero, right? Of course I'm fucking right, there's no other- FUCKING HELL!" the outlaw said the last bit as he was smacked upside the head with Terezi's cane. The sheriff had returned with her usual grin, Strider still sore right behind her.

"Heheh, hey fakey fake outlaw, that's my assistant you're talking to," she said, and John smiled at her as the outlaw rubbed his head.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!" the outlaw yelled, and flinched as Terezi swung the cane in his face again, though she was still grinning.

"She's the sheriff, numbnuts, and you best be buying whatever she's selling, cause if you don't she'll open some blind-ass cane whipping on your hairy ass," Strider said.

"Can it, Strider, I'm not done with you yet," Terezi said, not moving a muscle. "I'm the sheriff, Terezi Pyrope, and if I think there's any justice to be had by locking your ass in jail, I will; so I suggest treating my assistant with respect."

"Wha- YOU'RE TEREZI PYROPE? You gotta be shitting me…" the outlaw said. Then Terezi smacked him upside the head with her cane again. "OW, FUCK!"

"It's the stone cold truth, son; and you best start believing it before it get shoved down your-" but Dave was cut off as Terezi pulled him down to land a kiss right on his lips. Then she pushed him back.

"I told you to can it, Strider. Now it'll cost you; go wait for me upstairs," she said, grinning maniacally. Strider snorted, regaining his composure and poker face in a matter of milliseconds before turning and striding off towards the stairs in the back; Terezi, John and Jade all lived upstairs with Rose and Kanaya in separate apartments, and Dave was often found in Terezi's room, although he lived outside of town.

"What? You're going to leave me on duty alone?" John asked, smiling despite his words. Terezi grinned back.

"I thought you might appreciate it," she said, a suggestive undertone making John laugh a bit and the outlaw glare. "Just come get me if this sad sack gives you too much trouble, eh?"

"Will do," John said, and waved as Terezi followed after Strider's path, hitting anyone in her way (although she knew they were there, she just found hitting them fun).

"Karkat Vantas," the outlaw said.

"What?" John asked, returning to the conversation.

"My name, fuckass," the troll said. "It's Karkat Vantas."

"Nice to meet you, Karkat," John said, grinning. Karkat sighed irritably. Then Rose appeared, with two more drinks, setting one before each man.

"Hey John, how's the ruffian round up coming along?" Rose asked, John smiled, taking a swig of his drink before answering.

"Not that many ruffians to be rounded up tonight, I'm afraid," he said, and Rose laughed a little, leaning on the bar.

"What about this shady character? He has the air of a proper ruffian to me," Rose said. Karkat glared, seeming to try and ignore them as John laughed.

"How can you be a proper ruffian?" he asked, and Rose looked very serious.

"If you wear a monocle and drink tea while robbing people," she said, and John started laughing again. Rose smiled a little and Karkat made a strangled noise.

"Jegus that is so fucktarded!" he snarled.

"Kind of like your stumpy little horns," Rose countered, leaning up again. John laughed a little.

"I think they're cute," John said, smiling at Karkat. The troll gaped a minute, then seemed to angrily blush as he buried himself in his next drink. Rose rolled her eyes.

"Geez, Egbert, why don't you just take him up to your room now and save all the obvious foreplay?' Rose said, making Karkat choke on his drink again.

"Aw, but I'm not going to take someone I don't know to my room," John said, pouting a little. Karkat was still recovering from the choking and didn't get to respond before Rose.

"Well, Sollux brought the guy in, so he's probably okay," Rose said, then someone started making a ruckus at the other end of the bar and she left. Sollux was the saloon's piano player, another upstairs resident that John was friends with. In fact, John was friends with nearly everybody, so it wasn't actually a surprise. John smiled, returning his attention to Karkat.

"Oh, so you know Sollux?" he asked. Karkat glared, looking like he just wanted Egbert to go away and leave him in peace.

"Yeah, he and I grew up together," Karkat said, glaring. "Now are we done with these fucktarded questions?"

"Not really," John said, but before he could say more he was suddenly pulled to his feet.

"Come dance, Egburrrt; the music is purrrfect!" Neputa said, twirling John on to the dance florr. John laughed and joined her, moving around and dancing until he got out of breath and let her return to dancing around Equis as he took a breather.

"I thaw you talking to Karkat," Sollux said. John jumped, he hadn't realized he was resting against the piano. John grinned, straitening a bit.

"Yeah, he's pretty funny," John said, face still flushed from dancing. At least, he assumed it was from dancing. Sollux nodded his head a little, smiling.

"You would thay that," he said. "Lithten, I'll going to tell you a thecrete."

"Yeah?" John said, leaning in closer.

"When you were danthing with Neputa, Karkat couldn't keep hith eyeth off you," Sollux said. "I've known Karkat thinth we were kidth; he won't make the firtht move… or the latht one, for that matter. Jutht make him follow your lead."

"Am I really that obvious?" John asked, though he was smiling ear to ear.

"Hoplethly tho," Sollux said, grinning as he reached a rather bouncy bit of the song he was playing. John grinned, then tipped his hat to Sollux before returning to his seat beside Karkat.

"Oh fucking great, you just don't give the fuck up, do you?" the troll said, glaring outright. John grinned.

"Nope," he said, and Karkat blushed again, though he tried to hide it by turning away. And John, being the affable and somewhat clueless person he was, suddenly wrapped an arm around Karkat's shoulders and leaned in next to his ear. "You're cute when you blush."

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Egbert?" Karkat said, glaring but not quite pulling away.

"Hey! You remembered my name!" John said, smiling as he gave Karkat's shoulders an affectionate squeeze.

"What the fuck! Will you answer my gog damn question?" Karkat said, and now he was pulling away, though John could still hold him in place pretty well.

"I like you," John said, and Karkat stopped struggling.

"You don't fucking know me," Karkat said.

"But I want to," John said, his breath still brushing against the trolls sensitive ear. John felt Karkat shiver, and managed to slide just a bit closer without falling off his seat.

"We're in the middle of a fucking saloon, Egbert; try to fucking act like you give a fuck," Karkat said, trying to pull away again.

"Well, I have a room upstairs," he said, looking towards the stairs. Karkat sighed in frustration.

"That wasn't what I fucking- oh gog damn it FINE! FUCKING FINE!" the troll said. John blinked in surprise.

"Really?" he asked, making Karkat glare.

"Yeah, fucking really; now are we fucking going to your shitty room or what?" he said. John didn't need told a third time, and was up dragging Karkat halfway across the room before the troll had finished speaking.

They made it up the stairs and into the apartment John shared with Jade without incident. The music wasn't half as loud here, and Karkat looked around apprehensively as John pulled him through to his room.

"You live with someone?" Karkat asked, spying the door to the other room.

"Uh huh, my sister," he said. Before Karkat could make a response, John pulled him forward by the hand, making the troll almost fall. But Karkat caught his balance as John kissed him full on the mouth, one hand cupping Karkat's cheek. Karkat made a surprised squeak at first, but then his eyes slid closed and he pushed his lips back against John's. After a few moments they pulled away.

"Fuck you meant that shit, didn't you?" Karkat said, blushing as he tried to steady his panting. In response John smiled and pushed Karkat on to the bed, easily climbing on top of the troll. "What do you think you're – OH FUCK!"

John used one hand to cup the side of Karkat's face as he licked one of his horns. The troll reacted by gripping John's arms, above the elbow, whimpering as John continued to lick and kiss the nubby horn. The troll started to writhe a bit beneath John, and the human slowly let his unused hand travel down Karkat's side. But once John's hand reached Karkat's hip, the sheriff's assistant found himself flipped beneath the troll, his hat flopping to the ground.

"Let me make this clear; this is NO FUCKING WAY I'm going to get fucked by some fuckass nooksucker I barely know, got it?" Karkat said. John laughed, pushing up to kiss Karkat, making the troll flinch in surprise.

"Whatever you want, Karkat," John said as he lay back. Karkat blushed, staring down at him a minute, then sighed and grumbled something before he leaned down and kissed John; it was soft and almost savory, and John returned the kiss with enthusiasm. And when Karkat ran his tongue across John's lips, the human was more than happy to oblige him, letting Karkat set the pace. After some minutes of tongue wrestling, Karkat pulled back. He looked down at John a couple minutes, then lay down against his side, lips almost touching John's neck.

"I'm fucking worn out," he said, and it showed in his voice. John wondered how long the troll's day had been, and wrapped an arm around his waist.

"Okay," the human said, smiling up at his ceiling. Karkat was already asleep, of course, and John was aware of this, he just felt it pertinent to acknowledge that Karkat had said something. After a while, John felt himself drifting off, just laying there, quiet enough to hear the music playing faintly in the background. John found himself tuning into Karkat's breathing; he let the slow, steady rhythm lull him to sleep, still grinning like a fool.

===== Be Karkat

Okay, you are Karkat Vantas. You came to some nooksucking backwoods town yesterday because your self named best friend Sollux said it would be a good place to lay low. Lay from what, you ask? Well, you wouldn't be laying fucking low if you were spreading your fucking business everywhere, now would you? That's fucking right, you wouldn't.

Now, you got to this shithole on the main coach; fucking thing didn't even stop, and you had to fucking jump off it. If that wasn't shitacular enough, the fuckass Mayor had seen it and after laughing his fuking ass off tried to hit on you. And when you turned the nooksucker down, he went and put you on the fucking wanted poster!

But then you had met up with your fucking late best friend, and he said not to worry about it; that it happened all the time. But you were having a fucking bad day by then, so you decided to drown your sorrows in some shitty drinks then sleep it off. But then the fucking sheriff's assistant, if the fuckass even really was the sheriff's assistant, started hitting you, too. You knew you were fucking amazing, but shit, you didn't think you'd be attracting so much fucking attention. You were trying to lay low, for fuck's sake!

But… despite his total fucktardedness, the sheriff's assistant, whatever the fuck his name was, Egbert, you think; well, despite his utter fucktardedness, you guessed that maybe he wasn't a total fuck up nooksucker. He still was one, of course, just not a complete one. Annoying as hell, and jegus fuck he needed to learn to take a fucking hint, but… well, shit happened, and you somehow ended up in his fucking room on top of him. You're not sure how the fuck that happened, but you guessed it wasn't so bad. Like, it could be a good way to lay low, you know? Yeah, that was why you fucking went to his room. It was your fucking plan all along; it had nothing to do with shiny blue eyes or cute buckteeth or… oh fuck, you mean, uh… well, you can't fucking help if your brain decides to go all fuktarded all of a sudden. It just happens.

…fuck.

==== Be the narrator chick

Awesome, back to me. Now, back to where we left off…

Karkat groaned as he woke up, rubbing the sleep out one of his eyes as he pushed off the bed. There was a window to the street outside, and the sounds of the town filtered in with the light. John had already left the room, and glared around the small, simple room. He wasn't all that surprised; of course he would be left behind, there was no way that…

Karkat's thoughts were arrested by the smell of something delicious wafting through the air. Finding himself completely starved (as he hadn't really eaten yesterday), the troll let his nose take him out of the room and back into the apartment.

"Oh! Good morning, Karkat!" John said, grinning over the pan he was flipping. The sheriff's assistant already had a nice stack going, and Jade was busy taking plates of flapjacks and toting them downstairs. She gave Karkat a shy smile, which Karkat returned with a sneer. Jade then stuck her tongue out at the troll before disappearing into the hallway.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Karkat asked, leaning his back against the wall. John was humming as he worked.

"Well, being sheriff's assistant is cool and all, but it doesn't really pay a lot, so Rose and Kanaya asked me to make breakfast and help out so Jade and I can stay here," he said, adding another flapjack to a plate on the counter next to him. Then he put out the cooking fire, setting his frying pan down.

"What? Can you even cook?" Karkat asked. John made a face, scratching the back of his neck.

"Yeah, my dad made me learn how, so I'm not too bad, I guess," he said. Then he smiled, picking up the plate and heading out the door. "You're welcome to join us."

"Us?" Karkat asked, following all the same.

"The staff of the saloon," John said. "Oh, and Terezi and Dave. But the more the merrier, right?"

"Depends on you the fucking more is," Karkat said as he and John reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Hey KK; thleep well?" Karkat turned to glare at Sollux, who grinned a tad suggestively.

"Can it, fuckass," Karkat said, breaking to stand next to the bi-speckled troll as John added his plate to the rather long line of plates full of flapjacks across the bar.

"What? You're the one that went to hith room," Sollux countered, offering Karkat a flapjack of his personal plate. Karkat snatched one, making Sollux roll his eyes behind his glasses before beginning on one himself.

"Yeah, well, it's just because it'll fucking help me lay low; that's it," he said, tearing a bite out of the flapjack he "stole". Karkat stopped mid-scarf; he couldn't believe it, the thing actually tasted pretty fucking amazing. Not that he was going to tell the nooksucking sheriff's assistant that, but…

"Yeah, thure it ith…" Sollux rolled his eyes again, mentally laughing at his friend's reaction to the flapjack.

"What do you sure it-" Karkat rose to the paranoid (though nonetheless true) assumption that Sollux didn't believe his totally true reasoning behind going to Joh- Egbert's room last night, when he was interrupted by the devil himself.

"Hey Karkat! So, do you like 'em?" John asked, tackled hugging the trolls from behind.

"The FUCK! Off!" Karkat said, pushing the over enthusiastic human away, though it did nothing to deter the bright, bucktoothed grin. "…they're okay."

"Awesome! Have as many as you like! Well, I have to get to patrolling with Terezi now, but I'll see you later! Bye!" and with one more surprise hug and a nod to a highly amused Sollux, the bouncey sheriff's assistant was off, trailing after his blind troll boss. Karkat stood in shock, a blush coloring from one ear tip across his face to the other.

"Not a word, Captor; not ONE. FUCKING. WORD," Karkat said.

"Whatever you thay, KK," Sollux said, offering his friend another flapjack.

"Heheh, so how did it go last night? Get your matesprite to be in bed yet?" Terezi asked. John blinked in the brightening sunlight, grinning.

"Not yet, but I don't mind," John said. Terezi laughed.

"You are a strange one, Egbert," she said. Then she frowned. "Aw, fuck. Here comes the great and mighty Mayor."

"Don't sea-m so enthusiastic," Eridan said as he approached them, his secretary Feferi on his heel.

"What can we do for you today, Mayor Eridan?" John asked, feeling a little sheepish. This was probably going to be about Karkat….

"Well, first you can let the outlaw off the hook; we hawe bigger fish to fry," he said, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Oh, really?" John asked, trying not to sound as happy as he felt. Terezi felt herself grin; it sounded like an actual challenge was headed her way.

"Yes, reel-ly, or I wouldn't glubbing say it," Eridan said, glaring.

"Oh, don't be mad; not when this is just so glubbing -EXCITING! A real bandit! Glub!" Feferi said, twirling around. Terezi leaned on her cane, grinning her full predatory grin.

"A real bandit, you say?' she asked, looking through Eridan. The Mayor sighed.

"Yes, and she's a reel grain in the gills glub. Her name is Wriska Serket; she runs a drug cartail; it seem she's looking to sink her hooks into Veiltown," he said.

"Oh, wow! How do you know?" John asked, clearly excited for a real case.

"One of her front runners showed up last night; which you would hawe known had you been doing your glubbing jobs," Eridan said, growling a bit at the end. Terezi laughed, tapping Eridan's shoulder with her cane.

"Heheh, come off it, Eri, not like you're going to fire us," she said. Eridan sneered, pushing Terezi's cane off his shoulder.

"Yeah, well…" Eridan tried, then finally just sighed. "Just reel in the glubbing corel-iminal."

"Heheh, that one was a bit of a stretch, even for you," Terezi said. "But rest assured; justice will prevail!"

"Well, I'll leawe you to it, then," Eridan said, and he and Feferi went on their way, Feferi dancing around the as per usual grumpy Mayor.

"So, are we on an actual case now?" John asked. Terezi grinned maniacally.

"Yess; it's finally time to do some real sheriff work," she said, and John grinned as the duo went in search of Vriska Serket's frontrunner.

"Tho, nothing happened?" Sollux asked. He was playing the piano softly, there was no one dancing this early.

"Are you fucking deaf or something? Yes, nothing fucking happened," Karkat said, leaning against the piano.

"Thorry, I'm jutht thurprithed. He didn't even kith you or anything?" Sollux pressed. Karkat could feel the heat rising in his face, and Sollux smiled.

"You know what, fuckass? This is none of your fucking business, anyway. Conversation the fuck over," Karkat said.

"If you thay tho, KK," Sollux said, still smiling. The silence stretched between them, Karkat fuming with his arms crossed. Then the standing troll turned.

"Okay, fine, he fucking kissed me! And he did a fucking poor job at it, too! Like, seriously, I didn't know someone could even be that shitacular at kissing, it's probably because of those dumbshit buckteeth, I guess. But that's all I'm fucking saying, that's it, got it, fuckass?" Karkat said, then crossed his arms again, looking away as Sollux chuckled.

"Of courthe, KK," he said. The silence wasn't as long this time.

"Okay, maybe he wasn't a total dipshit at kissing, but it was still fucking shit, like, major fucking shit, got it? He's still a derpy little nooksucker, who can't even do fucking foreplay right. I mean, fuck, when you fucking push someone on your fucking bed, you shouldn't be so shitty that you can't make it go any fucking further, right? I mean, jegus fucking Christ, how fucktardedly bad can you be at fucking fucking that you can't even fucking keep going? Oh, fuck… you, uh, didn't hear that, okay?"

"… he puthed you on the bed?" Sollux asked. Though surprised, he had somehow managed to keep playing.

"No, I said you didn't-aw, fuck, to hell with it; yeah, he pushed me on the fucking bed, alright?" Karkat said. Sollux's playing hit a bad chord before he suddenly broke down laughing. "What? What the fuck, Captor? What are you fucking laughing at? Shut up, fuckass, there's nothing to fucking laugh about here!"

"Thorry, KK, ith jutht…" but Sollux couldn't finish, and Karkat felt the heat rise in his face as he got angry.

"Whoa, what shit's all going down over here?" Dave Strider said, strolling over. But, not like he was purposely walking over, he just happened to be going that way, ironically to where the piano was. Sollux seemed to get a hold of himself, and glared at the shade eyed bandit.

"Fuck off, Thrider," Sollux said.

"Hey, I'm flattered you think of me that way and all, man, but I only do that shit with Terezi; well, you know, unless I'm feeling all tied down and shit," Dave said, tipping his hat up as he leaned against the wall, acting like he was interested. Ironically, because there was no way someone cool as Dave Strider would be interested in a conversation between his kismesis and some random troll he didn't know.

"Yeth, Thrider, I know," Sollux said flatly, still glaring. "Cauthe then you find me, fuckath."

"Not my fault if you always seem to be around; like some dog sniffing around, looking for a lost bone, or boner, I guess," Dave said, looking passive as a stone wall, cause cool kids didn't give up the way they felt. It wasn't cool to be all gushy; well, maybe if you were Egderp it was okay, but that kid just made it cool to be uncool and dorky. Cuase he was all true to himself and shit, you know?

"Fuckath," Sollux said, starting to play again. Karkat snorted.

"And who the fuck are you?" he asked.

"Psh, you don't already know? Shit man, I feel insulted. Maybe I won't tell you who the fuck I am, with you getting all fucking up in my business, like a fucking fag up a boner, all up in there far as you can go man. No, fuck that shit, no way I'm gonna talk with someone so desperate to know me if they can't do their research all proper and shit. I'm fucking out of here; but like, not because I'm mad or anything; I'm just making an ironic exit, you know? Cause you think I would be all mad and shit, except I'm not, I just planned on leaving all along, cause I never really cared about this shit to begin with, it all just some big ironic shit stand, man, and now it's gonna end, ironically," Dave said, starting to walk away, a confused Karkat in his wake. Before he got far, Sollux sighed.

"Egbert ith trying to bang him," he said, making Dave pause.

"What the fuck, Captor?" Karkat yelled, rounding on him. But then he jumped back, Dave having gotten close to examine the troll's face.

"Oh, no shit, man? Egderp's all tripping over some desperate fag? Well, I guess it makes sense, since it's Egderp and all, but shit, man, I thought he was always saying how he wasn't a homosexual and all that," Dave said. Sollux shrugged.

"I gueth he wath wrong," Sollux said. Karkat growled.

"Who the fuck are you?" Karkat asked, pointing accusingly at Dave. Dave put up his hands, but stayed unphased.

"Whoa, cool your shit, man. I guess if you're really all desperate like that I can tell you, since you want to know so bad," Dave said.

"You know what, nevermind. I don't fucking care who some nooksucking prick like you is, so just fuck off," Karkat said, making Sollux laugh. Dave wrapped an ironic arm around Karkat's shoulders, ironic because he, of course, felt no friendship with the troll, but was acting like he did, ironically.

"Well, if you're all after Egderp's bone bulge or boner of whatever, you want to know me, since I'm only like, his best fucking bro and all," Dave said. Karkat tried to peel himself away in vain before finally sighing in exasperation.

"Fine! The just tell me who the fuck you are, fuckass!" Karkat said. Dave backed away, holding up his hands, ironically.

"Alright, I mean, if you're gonna be all up in my shit, I guess I can tell you who I am," he said, then held out a hand. "Dave Strider, outlaw."

"Yeah fucking right; a nooksucker like you couldn't even hope to be a fucking outlaw; in fact, you couldn't even be a gog damn decent fucking ruffian. Jegus, I take that back. You're so awful to look at, you probably could be an outlaw. People give you all their fucking money just so they don't have to see your fucking face and deal with your fucking shit," Karkat said.

"Hey, watch it, KK," Sollux said. Karkat raised a brow, then smacked his forehead.

"Oh fuck, he's your gog damn fucking kismesis, isn't he? Well, don't fucking worry, Captor, all hate I feel here is fucking platonic, okay?" Karkat said.

"Well, I've been hanging around here too long; need to get away before your faggory rubs off on me. Later," Dave said, making his real exit. Karkat and Sollux didn't say anything for a while.

"Hey, Sollux, we're still friends, right?" Karkat asked. Sollux sighed, but then smiled a bit.

"Yeth, KK, we're thtill friendth," he said.

===== Be Virska's frontrunner

You are Gamzee Makara. Oh, whoops, you weren't supposed to motherfucking be saying that shit all up everywhere, but looked like it was too late now. You're a motherfucking frontrunner for one of your best pals, Vriska, even though her spider shit could be pretty creepy sometimes. But it was all cool, man, cause you were motherfucking best friends, and Vriska always had a motherfucking good pie for you, like a motherfucking miracle or something.

No, wait, that wasn't right. Oh, yeah, it wasn't that you and Vriska were motherfucking best friends; shit, how could you even think that shit? Must have had too many pies… even though they were still motherfucking miracles, man. Shit, you were getting all off topic now. Oh, yeah, Vriska had your mother fucking gorgeous matesprite, Tavros Nitram, all bitchin' kidnapped and shit, and you were working for her to motherfucking keep him safe and shit.

So now you were all bitchin' up in this shit, looking through this town and shit… except you weren't really looking, you were just kind of sitting in the street, cause shit man, the sun was like a motherfucking miracle, all bright and bitchin ' and shit. Motherfucking miracle, and all you had to do was look up. Shit man, it was all spiritual and shit, just looking up at the motherfucking sun in the middle of the motherfucking street. Shit man. And every time you looked up, it was still all shining and shit. Just a motherfucking miracle, man.

===== Be the narrator chick

John and Terezi stood in the street, watching as the alleged frontrunner was just staring at the sun, looking more like a user than a dealer.

"Uhm… are you sure he's the frontrunner?" John asked. Terezi grinned.

"Yess, completely sure," Terezi said. "Don't be deceived by the way he looked, Ja-ohn."

"Alright, if you say so," John said, smiling again. And then the two prepared to question Vriska's frontrunner.


	2. Chapter 2

==== Be Vriska Serket

Sure, you're Vriska…

Oh heck no, it is waay too early in this story for that. We're going back to the other scene.

===== Fine, then be the narrator chick

Thank you very much… uh… self. Anyway, readers, make sure to expect more cheap gags like this. This is hardly the end. Now, as far as the story is concerned…

"Heheh, hey there stranger," Terezi said, poking the frontrunner's cheek with her cane. It didn't seem to phase him, although he did tear his gaze from the sun and onto the sheriff and her assistant.

"Oh, 'sup my fine motherfuckers?" Gamzee asked, smiling goofily. Terezi laughed.

"Well there's a greeting," she said. "You're high as a wingbeast; I can smell it."

"Oh shit, really? I thought I motherfucking cleaned it all up, too…" Gamzee said, though he didn't look very worried. "Sorry 'bout that, ma'am."

"Heheh, don't worry about it," Terezi said. Despite the troll's ill intentions, she found herself liking him and his chillax attitude.

"So what were you doing in the street?" John said, offering Gamzee a hand up. Gamzee stared at the human's hand a few moments, like he didn't know what it was, or what to do with it. But then it clicked, slowly, and the troll accepted the sheriff's assistant's help to his feet.

"Just staring at the motherfucking sun my brother. It's a motherfucking miracle, you know?" Gamzee said, looking up again with his goofy smile. Terezi laughed again and John smiled. Neither of them could believe that the stoned troll was a bad person; but still…

"So, are you really Vriska's frontrunner?" John asked. Terezi just grinned; if she had been surprised, she obviously wouldn't have known the man she hired very well. Gamzee blinked, brining his gaze down again.

"Oh yeah, shit man, I almost forgot," Gamzee said, scratching the back of his head. "Have you… shit, I motherfucking forget what I'm supposed to be all looking for now. Aw shit…"

"Uh… so you're actually looking for something? And Vriska doesn't want to deal drugs in Veiltown?" John asked.

"Aw no, man; not with that bitchin' motherfucker Terezi Pyrope as sheriff. No way Vriska wants to get all up her shit," Gamzee said, his motions a little slow, as if he were moving through water as he made them. Slow, but still with a certain grace. Terezi felt that if the troll weren't stoned out of his mind, he'd probably be a pretty formidable opponent.

"Heheh, this Vriska sounds pretty smart," Terezi said, still grinning like a hyena. "So why do you work for her?"

"She's got my motherfucking matesprite all kidnapped and shit," Gamzee said, and there was a spark of true distress in the glazed eyes. Terezi's grin dropped, and John stopped smiling, too. "I can't let her hurt him."

"Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to arrest you then, Mr…?" Terezi said, grin returning, but not as strong.

"Makara; Gamzee Makara. And what do you mean, arrest me?" he asked, taking a step back.

"Sorry," John said, stepping around the troll and pulling out his handcuffs.

"Heheh, look at it this way; you don't have to work for Vriska, and she can't say it's your fault," Terezi said. Gamzee shook his head, taking a couple steps away from the two. He seemed to becoming a bit more lucid now.

"No, you don't know Vriska, ma'am. She'll motherfucking say it was all my fault, even if it was just shit that happened, then she'll mother fucking… she'll… shit…" Gamzee was clearly distressed at this point, and John looked at Terezi, pleading a little. Terezi sighed, then grinned again.

"Well, I don't taste any deceit, so…" the sheriff shrugged. "Just don't get into any trouble, and we'll try to keep whoever you're looking for safe."

"Oh, no shit? Thanks, ma'am; you guys are a motherfucking miracle," Gamzee said, grinning again. John was smiling too, and waved as he and Terezi walked away.

"So, who do think he's looking for?" John asked. Terezi grinned at him sidelong.

"Really, Egbert, you have to ask?" she said. Then she flicked her assistant's nose. "Your little matesprite to be, of course."

"Wha- Karkat? But, why would you-" John was cut off as Terezi waged her cane in his face.

"He's the only new person in town, and I ran background checks on everyone back during the cookie thief fiasco."

"Well, okay, that makes sense, I guess… " John said, looking off. Terezi made him flinch by putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't be upset. If this Vriska is looking for him, it means he probably did something to piss her off, right?" Terezi asked, leading John to the saloon.

"Oh, yeah, you're right!" John said, smiling his bucktoothed grin again. It was still early in the day, so the only people in the saloon were the few drunks near always there as well as Sollux, Rose and Karkat. Karkat was still talking with Karkat as the sheriffing pair walked up to them.

"Heheh, so Mr. Karkat, it seems we need to talk," Terezi said, grinning her manic grin. Karkat scowled.

"What the fuck do we have to talk about?" Karkat asked, though he gave John a careful glance. John just smiled, and Sollux chuckled where he sat. Terezi stuck her cane in Karkat's face.

"Vriska Serket; heard of her?" she asked. Sollux stopped playing, his smile dropping as he looked up. Karkat looked more guarded than before.

"How the fuck do you know about that spider bitch?" he asked, clearly angry. Terezi let her cane drop to the floor with a slight clack.

"One of her frontrunners is in town," she said. Karkat's face dropped.

"Gamzee's here? Already? FUCK! How the fuck did she figure it out! That fucking spider bitch! I need to… I need to fucking get out of here! I… I…" Karkat started freaking out, mini pacing. He jumped at John's hand on his shoulder.

"Karkat, breathe," the sheriff's assistant said, looking concerned. Karkat pushed him away.

"I'm trying to keep breathing, nooksucker!" the troll said. "If that bitch figures out where I am, she'll fucking-"

"We have it covered, so you can stop throwing a hiss fit, heheh," Terezi said. "Besides, you can't really go anywhere with Mr. Makara in the streets, now can you?"

"…fuck, you're right. Shit. Fuck. What the fuck am I gonna do…?" Karkat said, clearly not done freaking out.

"Do what you've been failing to do; lay low," Terezi said. "But first; what the hell did you do to piss of Serket?"

"I don't have to fucking tell you anything! I- Oh fuck," Karkat said, jumping over the piano making Sollux swear as Karkat hid between the bench and piano, under the keys. Terezi and John looked to the door, where Gamzee had walked in, still looking high as a kite. He tipped his hat to the law enforcers, then walked up to the bar and seemed to start a rather animated conversation with Rose.

"Geez, KK, a little warning would be nithe," Sollux said, shifting uncomfortably as he began to play again.

"Shut the fuck up, Captor," Karkat said. Terezi chuckled.

"I'll get back to you later, not so fakey fake outlaw," she said, turning and crooking her finger to indicate John should follow. John looked over his shoulder with a worried expression. Sollux gave him a reassuring smile and thumbs up.

"Don't worry; I won't let anything happen to thith dipthit," Sollux said, and John smiled even as Karkat grumbled from his hiding place. To which Sollux delivered a swift kick as John and Terezi disappeared out the door.

"Fuckass," Karkat hissed.

"Ssh, you'll give yourthelf away," Sollux said, though he may or may not have grinned a bit.

It wasn't until after evening had fallen that John and Terezi returned to the saloon. The place was in full swing by then, and it looked like Neputa had pulled Sollux onto the dance floor, leaving Dave to supply the music. The outlaw had on his typical pokerface, no matter how lively the music was. Terezi strolled over, telling John to look for his wayward lover in the mess of people.

"Heheh, hey coolkid, how did you get saddled into this?" the sheriff asked, grinning as per usual. Dave didn't even look up.

"Just went with the flow, Rez; just let shit happen on it's own," he said. Terezi chuckled.

"So Neputa pushed you onto the bench before stealing Sollux away?" she asked. She took Dave silence as a yesss. The sheriff walked around the piano to sit next to her lover, facing away from the piano.

"So what's this I hear about a spider bitch drug dealer?" Dave asked, his playing picking up. Dave played a different style than Sollux, something rather new, but he still played well. It came from being self taught.

"That's about it, actually," Terezi said. Then her grin dropped. "She's looking for that Karkat guy, but he won't say why. I'm also charging her with Illegal Substance Possession, Unlawful Holding of Persons Unwilling, the Blackmailing of Kind Clown Stoners, and General Spider Bitchery."

"Sounds like spider bitch better be watching her back like a vulture watches the most disgusting, rotten carcass in the middle of a desert of Pyrope kick assery," Dave said, smirking. Terezi grinned.

"You know just how to sweet talk me, don't you, cool kid?" she said.

"I'm not sweet talking; I can't help if the words that come from my godlike mouth, no, wait, rewind that back, my god mouth send shivers down your justice seeking spine," Dave said. Terezi cackled.

"Well, you better get Sollux back at this piano soon; cause I know all about your god mouth and what it should be doing," she said. Dave just continued to smirk. Terezi let him, leaning her head on his shoulder as she watched everyone dancing.

===== Meanwhile…

John had looked all around the saloon and hadn't seen Karkat, and didn't take the troll for the dancing type. So he decided to check upstairs on a whim. And there Karkat was, sitting against the door to Sollux's room, appearing to be asleep. John walked over; he had the room across from Sollux, and sat against his own door.

He watched Karkat; the troll really was asleep, slouched against the door. He looked… peaceful. It was something John hadn't seen in the troll yet, and he found himself staring. Karkat looked younger without a scowl on his face, and even cuter than before.

carcinGenecit [CG] began trolling narratorChick [NC]

CG: I AM NOT FUCKING CUTE

NC: yes you are you're adorable, now let me narrate

narratorChick [NC] blocked carcinoGenecist [CG]

Told you there would be more cheap gags. Now…

John smiled and giggled; he didn't think Karkat would appreciate the sentiment if he'd heard it. Karkat started, then groaned as he woke up; apparently the giggle was louder then John had thought. John smiled.

"Hey," he said. Karkat scowled, but not as harshly as usual.

"How long have you been fucking staring like a nooksucking creeper?" Karkat asked, wincing as he shifted his stiff muscles. John giggled again.

"Just a couple seconds," he said. Karkat growled a bit, and then silence fell, though not an uncomfortable one.

"… you aren't going to ask about Vriska?" Karkat asked at a length. John smiled.

"No, you can talk when you're ready," he said. Karkat didn't say anything, then sighed irritably and got up. John looked confused, then smiled when Karkat sat next to him.

"You're too fucking nice," Karkat said. John just giggled. After a couple more minutes, Karkat leaned against John's side.

"More comfortable than a door?" John asked, smiling. Karkat growled.

"Shut the fuck up," and then he grumbled something, but John didn't hear and didn't bother Karkat to repeat it as the silence resumed. After a few minutes, John shifted.

"You know, you sleep a lot," John said, though he was still smiling.

"Well, you have some fucking sleepless nights when you're on the fucking run from a spider bitch," Karkat said. John twisted his head to look at Karkat; the troll had his eyes closed, but was still scowling. John rolled his eyes.

===== Be Karkat

Why not? You had to admit, John was more comfortable than a door. Not that you were going to tell him tha-WHAT THE FUCK!

"What the FUCK are you doing!" you yell as you find yourself lifted from the floor, bridal style. You pretended you didn't feel the heat rise in your face. John smiled as he opened the door to his room.

"You can't tell me that was the most comfortable position, even if it was better than the door," John said.

"I didn't say you could pick me up, fuckass!" you said, but you weren't really fighting the sheriff's assistant. You wouldn't admit it, but you liked John holding you, even if the position was pretty fucking humiliating.

"Yeah, yeah," John said, and you found yourself sighing as he giggled again. What fucking grown ass man giggled? Sure, it might be… cute, but seriously! He was fucking giggling like a nooksucking little girl! It should be fucking embarrassing!

===== Be John

You are John Egbert, sheriff's assistant. You were taking the troll you were pretty sure you were in love with to your bed… again. You were surprised he wasn't fighting you more; you had thought he would really struggle and instead he just seemed to just accept that you'd picked him up. Maybe he was more tired than you thought…

You set Karkat on your bed, and started to pull away when Karkat grabbed you by the front of your shirt.

"Where the fuck do you think you're fucking going?" Karkat growled.

"I-" you started to say you were going to check with Terezi, but then Karkat was kissing you and you found yourself climbing in top of him, your face growing hot. When Karkat's tongue licked across your lips, you lost all thought of leaving. You could feel the rest of your body catching up to your face, and pressed against Karkat beneath you to increase contact. You could feel Karkat moan into the kiss, and it went straight to your pants as you made a few choice noises of your own. Karkat reached up and pulled off your glasses, and you let up a moment to let him, not sure where they went.

===== Be Karkat

Oh gog oh gog oh gog what the fuck where you doing oh gog oh gog oh gog….

===== Be the narrator chick

John wasn't aware Karkat was unbuttoning his shirt until he felt the troll's hands on his abdomen. John shivered as the trolls slightly cool hands explored his skin, moaning when he brushed his nipples. Karkat smiled and repeated the motion, enjoying his slight control… which he lost when John subconsciously grinded against him, making him moan louder than the other had. John chuckled, and started kissing and sucking Karkat's neck as he continued, sliding the troll's shirt over his head. Karkat didn't seem to mind; but he was irritated at losing the element of control. Then the troll smirked, letting his hands ghost down John's body, down the surprisingly supple abs to trace down to the sheriff's assistant's belt.

But when he undid the buckle, John paused.

"Um, Karkat?" he said. Karkat sighed. He could feel stupidity coming.

"Don't tell me you want to fucking stop now," he said, irritated.

"No no no! It's not that, it's just…" John pulled up a bit so he could look at Karkat. He bit his lip, then sighed. "I've… I've never done it before."

"You…" Karkat started, going wide eyed. Then he facepalmed, scowling. "Jegus fucking Christ! And you waited until now to fucking bring that one up?"

"Sorry," John said sitting back. Karkat pushed up on his elbows, watching John's expression. The sheriff's assistant looked hurt, like a stricken puppy. Karkat grumbled something then sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and shutting his eyes a moment. Then he pushed up to sit and kissed John's cheek.

"I'm sorry," he said. "It's not like it's your fault you're a fucking virgin. I shouldn't have gone off on you."

"Really?" John asked, staring at Karkat in shock. His big blue eyes were wide, and he was blushing. Karkat felt himself blush in response, looking away sheepishly.

"Yeah, well… we were probably moving too fast, anyway; I mean, fuck, we don't even know each other," Karkat said, making up his own excuses. John giggled, and Karkat swore to gog he was going to-

"Thanks, Karkat," John said, looking right at him and smiling. Karkat looked out of the corner of his eyes, and his own blush darkened. After a moment, he sighed in turned.

"Yeah yeah I'm a fucking saint," he said, then gently pulled John forward by the nape of his neck to kiss him again. John wrapped an arm around Karkat's waist, leaning into the soft, sweet kiss as the troll snaked an arm around John's waist. They broke apart after some long moments, but rested their foreheads against each other's, just blushing as they looked at each other.

"Hey… Karkat… ?" John asked.

"Yeah…?"

"Weren't you tired?"

"… yeah."

"So… want to go to bed?"

"… okay."

===== Be Terezi

You are Terezi Pyrope. It is much later. You are laying in bed, with Dave Strider wrapped against you. Your shades, not Dave's, just yours, are on the table. You are both naked under the blanket, having had some pretty freaking amazing sex, the way you always had sex with Dave Strider. But lately, there had been something… missing. There was just some… spark that was lacking. You sighed. You wanted to deny it, but you prided yourself on your honesty, especially with yourself.

You knew your relationship with Dave was coming to end; you just didn't know when.

===== Be Gamzee

You were motherfucking going crazy, bro. You still couldn't remember what all you were supposed to be looking for and shit, and even with help from those bitchin' sheriffs, there was no motherfucking way you could get a message out to Vriska when they motherfucking knew who you were. Shit, you needed to do something… before the stash of pies Vriska sent you with all dried up and shit.

You stopped, about to dig out one said pie. Maybe you should hold off. Maybe it would motherfucking clear your head enough that you could motherfucking remember what it was you were looking for. Slowly, you put the pie back. Shit, this was going to be hard. But if it meant keeping your motherfucking miracle of a matesprite safe, you could do it.

===== Be the narrator chick

Coolio, now back to who you really want to know about…

John woke up slowly, awareness filtering in by degrees. The first thing was the gray light of dawn pouring through the window, against his closed eyelids. Next was the slight breeze billowing in with the light. Then was the heat against his bare chest contrasting with the cool breeze; after the heat was the weight accompanying the heat. His skin prickled along his arm where it was wrapped around Karkat's waist, and he could feel as well as hear the troll breathe. And it felt so… good; just the feeling of Karkat laying against his side made him feel wrapped in a moment, one of the ones that makes you stop just so you can hold onto it just one more second longer, as long as you possibly could, because it just felt so damn right.

And then Karkat sighed and shifted closer in his sleep, his somewhat wiry hair brushing against John's chin. John still had his eyes closed, and he sunk into the sensation; the sensation of Karkat's rough, somewhat leathery skin against his, the troll's hot breath ghosting against his chest, and his a bit too light weight draped across him. John sighed and smiled, forgetting he needed to get up and make breakfast, reveling in this moment, this just damn right moment that just seemed to get better as long as Karkat's heat was seeping under his skin.

Jade woke up groggily, sitting up and realizing there was something most definitely missing. She sat, sleepy eyed, pushing her foggy mind to try and figure out what it was that bothered her. And her eyes shot open as it hit her. It was quiet. By now, John was usually humming in the kitchen, making flapjacks or whatever he so chose, but he wasn't.

Jade flung her blanket off with so much force that it fell to the floor, and she almost fell in her scramble to her feet. She near fell into her door, sliding the handle open and bursting into the main apartment. She slowed her scramble as she reached the door to John's room. She took a deep breath, then noiselessly creaked the door open just enough to peek in.

And when she saw why her brother hadn't gotten up yet, she sighed quietly in relief and smiled. Closing the door silently behind her, Jade giggled once it was shut. She had seen much of the angry little troll during the day as she worked waitressing, and seeing him in such an adorable situation just struck her as far too silly to keep to herself. So she went to see the one person she knew would be up.

Bare feet padding on the wooden floor, Jade left the apartment while leaving the door ajar behind her. Then she walked straight across to rap softly on Sollux's door. After a few moment, Sollux opened the door a creak to see who it was, then all the way. He had on pants and his clean white shirt was half buttoned.

"Hey Jade, thomething wrong?" he asked. Jade didn't usually knock on his door this early; not that he minded, but he hoped everything was okay. Jade giggled, and the troll relaxed a bit, knowing nothing was wrong if the girl were giggling.

"No, no, it's just… you know your friend Karkat?" Jade asked, eyes shining with mischief.

"Tho he thelp with your brother again," Sollux said, smirking a bit at the thought of Karkat's pride. Jade giggled again.

"Yes; and they look adorable," Jade said. Sollux's smirk dropped. Karkat… adorable?

"This I have to thee," he said, straightening from his doorframe and following Jade into her apartment. When the dual eyed troll peeked in the room, he had to agree with Jade. Despite his misgivings, Karkat did look adorable. And Sollux almost burst out laughing, with Jade shushing him as they retreated behind the door. But even Jade was having trouble containing her giggles now, and when the two reached the hallway she started laughing. Looking at her happy face, Sollux felt heat rise in his cheeks, and he smiled and scratched the back of his neck. "Um, Jade-"

"Heheh, so what are you two doing out and about so early?" Terezi said, walking up. Sollux watched as Jade filled her in, and despite her blindness, Terezi also needed to "see" this for herself (though Sollux felt she had ulterior motives) and in a blur the two women had disappeared into Jade and John's apartment.

Sollux scratched the back of his neck and sighed. Another lost opportunity…

"Bro, you might want to clean up that mope face before someone catches on to your little Jade crush… oh, wait, everyone already knows," Dave said, strolling down the hall as if he owned the place. Sollux glared.

"Thut the fuck up, Thrider," the troll said. Dave looked, as usual, non plussed.

"Or what, Captor? You'll shut me up? How? Oh, wait, I forgot you have this major hate boner for me, so I guess you'll just shove your bone bulge in my mouth, right?" he said. Sollux ground his teeth. He turned to go back to his room, not wanting to deal with this so early. "Hey man, don't worry about it, I mean it's not your fault you're just blown away by the power of my sheer coolness."

And that was the last straw. Sollux whirled around too quick for Dave to prepare, grabbing the front of the outlaw's shirt and pulling him forward to crush their lips together.

At first it was as it had been planned; forceful, a bit painful and more just a collision of lips than a kiss. But after a moment Sollux eased up, and suddenly it became something else entirely. It was soft and warm, and the heat rose in the cheeks of both men as they titled their heads ever so slightly, possibly trying for a slightly better angle. And then it was wet, too, as they dared to taste each other's lips; just simple tastes, the flick of a tongue against soft skin or rough calluses, formed to keep fangs from cutting into the skin. And Dave's glasses might have gone slightly askew, making it possible for Sollux to catch a glimpse of… was that red?... before the eyes were shut and the troll's were shut as well. And quite possibly there was a moment where, maybe, there was some semblance of enjoyment by one if not both males…

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!" Dave and Sollux jumped apart as if hot coals were poured between them as Karkat's wild yell tore thru the quiet morning. Dave fixed his shades and Sollux scratched the back of his neck; neither looked at the other as yelling continued to issue from the room next to them, John and Jade's voices as well as Terezi's chuckle mixing in. Sollux cleared his throat and Dave tipped his hat, and then the troll shut himself in his room and the outlaw stepped into John and Jade's apartment. Both deciding what just happened never happened and never would. Ever.

… well, maybe.

Kanaya groaned some noise or other disturbed her sleep. The troll rose on her elbows, cocking her head to listen, trying to determine the source of the noise. Unsure, the troll dame sighed and half fell out of bed, causing Rose to start. The woman opened her bleary eyes and Kanaya smiled, leaning over to brush the blonde bangs from her lover's forehead before bestowing a kiss there.

"Sleep, love," she said, and Rose needed no second bidding as she promptly returned to slumber. Kanaya smiled down on her, running her hand gently through the soft hair a few moments before straightening and stretching. Then the fashionable troll pulled on a light green dress with calf high boots that buttoned up the side. Then she ventured into the hallway, boots clicking on the wooden floor as she followed her ears to the source of the noise. She stopped at the ajar door of John and Jade's apartment. Which was odd, since the two were usually quite agreeable.

Kanaya peeked through the ajar door and was surprised at the scene she saw.

John was at the stove, attempting to teach Karkat how to make flapjacks, though the irate troll was having a rough time of it. His face was red with anger… or it might have been because John was framing him from behind to guide his movements. Terezi sat in Dave's lap, grinning like a hyena as she made quips about Karkat's baking abilities with support from Strider. Jade sat nearby, laughing and defending the angry troll when she could, though it seemed Karkat only heard half of what was being said of him. Kanaya assumed it was half, as Karkat only went off on half of what was said.

Kanaya watched for a few more minutes before smiling and stepping back. She could hear Sollux beginning to play downstairs, and it would be time to open up soon anyways. So, happy all was right, Kanaya made her way to the stairs to handel before opening preparations.

tentacleTherpist [TT] began pestering narratorChick[NC]

[TT]: My I just make a point that there is a stark lack or background to any relationship featured in this story other than that of John and Karkat.

[NC]: i'm getting there i'm getting there…

[TT]: Are you?

[NC]: yes! . don't worry, there will plenty of fluff with you and kanaya, just let me get around to it. i can't help if john/karkat is my OTP 3

[TT]: I get the distinct feeling that you do not know the actual meaning of that word.

[NC]: what? OTP? well… I know the context, so it's all good. XD

[TT]: …as you wish.

tentacleTherpist[TT] ceased pestering narratorChick[NC]

===== Be Eridan

You are Eridan Amproa, mayor of Veiltown. You are currently on your wway to the local sea-loon to locate your, as alwways, errant sheriff and her derpy assistant. And, while you are awware that the word 'derp' has probably not been invented in the wwild wwest, you quite frankly don't giwe a fuck. You're already a fish troll, and those sure as hell wweren't in the wwild wwest either, so protestors can fish out their owwn angler.

Your hyperactive assistant and long time friend, Feferi, is off infishtigating some fishy business, so you're on your owwn right noww. As you pushed the door to the sea-loon open, no one sea-ms to notice you. Except Terezi, as she sharks her way through the small school ower to you.

"Heheh, to what do we owe the honor of the presence of the great and mighty mayor?" Terezi asked. You scowled like a angler fish. This beach really knew how to get under your gills.

"Hawe you found a shoal-ution to the Serket problem?" you asked. Terezi laughed, stroking her chin as if in thought.

"Well, turns out spider bitch doesn't want to deal in Veiltown; she's looking for something," she sea-id. Noww you wwere interfishted.

"Wwhat is she after?" you ask. Terezi gives a cast of her thumb over her head to shoal him a troll…

"Him," Terezi sea-id, then cackled as you reel-ized it wwas the troll that had treated you like fish bait.

"Wwhy?" you asked, already feeling a headache coming on. Maybe it wwas too many fish puns….

"Working on it. It'll be easier if he doesn't see you, though," Terezi sea-id, and you sighed but nodded. Terezi could be a reel beach, but so could sharks, and they still got wwhat they wwanted wwhen they smelled blood. It they way she was acting, it sea-med Terezi was getting ready to frenzy.

===== Be the narrator chick

Oh gog that was hard… never again, never again…

Anyway, Eridan left as unnoticed as he had entered, and Terezi turned back to the group eating breakfast. Then she frowned. Something smelled… off. She sniffed a few more times, then made her way to Kanaya.

"Kanaya, can I ask you something?" Terezi asked. Kanaya paused a moment, then set down the glass she had been cleaning.

"Is something wrong, Ms. Pyrope?" she asked. Terezi grinned and shook her head.

"No, not really," she said. "Could you just tell me who Dave is looking at?"

"Mr. Strider?" Kanaya said, then turned her gaze to look through the group. She saw Strider in a few moments, then saw that he was not looking at Terezi. The outlaw wore his typical poker face, but his gaze seemed drawn across the room, and when Kanaya followed it, she blinked. "He's appears to be looking at… Sollux."

"Ah, thanks, heheh," Terezi said, waving as she walked away, towards her outlaw lover. Kanaya stared after a moment, then sighed, picking up her glass again. She knew it would never work; not while the two were on separate sides of the law, and not with the way Dave flirted. Though, she could admit she hadn't expected the outlaw to be drawn to Sollux, of all people. She knew they could not be true kismesises with Dave's lack of hate, but still…

"Is something troubling you, dear?" Rose asked, sweeping up behind Kanaya and wrapping her pale arms around her lover's waist. Kanaya sighed and leaned into her.

"Impending heartache," the troll dame sighed. Rose nodded.

"Terezi?" she asked, though she knew. Kanaya nodded, and the two stood in silence, words uneeded as Kanaya worried over her long time friend and Rose offered what moral support she could.

"Well, Mr. Vantas, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you some questions," Terezi said, grin indicating she was not afraid nor sorry that she had to ask Karkat anything. Karkat stood.

"Well, then I'm fucking afraid I'm not going to answer your fuckass questions," he said, beginning to walk away.

"Heheh, and where are you going? Gamzee's still wondering around, in case you forgot," she said. Karkat stopped, then started grumbling to himself. Then he pinched the bridge of his nose and turned.

"I stole something of hers, okay? Something pretty fucking important, and that all I'm fucking saying," he said, the turned and stalked upstairs. Terezi chuckled.

"Well, it's a start," she said, grinning at John, who was looking worriedly after the irate troll. Terezi poked him with her cane to get his attention.

"Huh? Oh, sorry," he said, then smiled sheepishly. Terezi chuckled.

"Why don't you go after him, eh? See what you can find out," she said. John brightened, agreeing in a slew of words before bounding up the stairs after Karkat. Terezi laughed again, but when it died her face fell a little, and she realized she was standing next to Sollux. And she could smell he was looking at her.

She turned to grin at him, then waved a bit and took her leave; going to patrol for what other ruffians may dare to ruff in her town.

John found Karkat in his apartment, crouching on the floor in the main area. He stepped in quietly, shutting the door behind him.

"Dice," Karkat said, making John flinch in surprise.

"What he asked, coming to sit in front of the troll, legs on either side of him. Karkat sighed, then ran a hand through his hair.

"I stole Vriska's dice; she thinks they're some kind of good luck charm or something, so I stole them," he said. John scratched the back of his head.

"Oh, okay… why?" he asked. Karkat sighed, louder than before, and looked into John's eyes.

"Gamzee, her frontrunner? Vriska's got his fucking matesprite, and Gamzee's one of the few fucking people that puts up with all my shit; fuck, he's my best friend. So… I thought if I stole the fucking dice, I could try to get Tavros back for Gamzee. But then the spider bitch caught me, and I fucking ran for it like some nooksucking coward, cause I couldn't fucking man up and face her. And then Vriska sent Gamzee on my tail cause she fucking knew it would hurt him and everything just went to fucking hell and I kept running cause fuck I couldn't let her catch me and I couldn't sleep in case she was fucking nearby with one her spies and I couldn't eat cause I was fucking sick all the fucking time and-"

Karkat was cut off as John leaned forward and hugged him. Karkat's eyes were wide, and for a moment he was stiff. Then he bit his lip and leaned into the embrace, letting John pull him closer. Even though the two had been just as close if not more so in the past two days, Karkat felt the sleepless nights of anxiety and sick feeling of worry that had been gnawing in the pit of his stomach come to a head, and he has really glad John was holding him because fuck he'd fucked up and all this shit was way over his head and he felt like he was about to have it all tumble apart and tear him to pieces along with it if he wasn't being held together and fuck he was NOT crying in front of some nooksucker he just met two days ago and yet yes, yes he was and shit he couldn't seem to stop but he didn't think John could see him so he guessed it was okay…

Except, of course, Karkat was in denial, because he had begun hugging John back rather fiercely, and John had been careful not to say anything as Karkat's claws dug into his skin even though it hurt pretty bad he knew Karkat needed this, because if it were him he would need this, and he could hear Karkat sobbing and could feel wet against his shoulder. He decided not to mention that, though, cause he didn't think Karkat wanted him to know; but Karkat's claws were really starting to hurt and John shifted just a little to try and lessen the sting and Karkat stiffened, suddenly realizing what he was doing.

"Fuck…" Karkat said, slowly pulling his claws from John's skin and attempting to pull away, but John would have none of it, instead pulling the troll a little closer. Karkat continued a moment, then sighed and replaced his hands, gently. After a few more quiet, not fucking shakey breathes, Karkat used his fingers to gently trace the small wounds he'd made. John flinched at first, then let Karkat pull away as the troll continued to assess the damage.

"So, uh…" John said, then flinched as Karkat glared at him.

"Are you a fucking idiot? Why didn't fucking say anything when I'm digging fucking furrows into your squishy pink body? You are so…. so…" Karkat was shaking a bit at the end, and John's brows drew together in consternation as he leaned down to try and see the troll's face. Karkat tried to look away, turning his head.

"Karkat…?" John asked, putting a hand to the troll's cheek. Karkat seized his wrist, and John flinched. Then Karkat looked up at him; his face still had wet red streams from earlier, but he looked confused.

"Why the fuck do you care about me so much, anyways? It's not like I've been fucking nice to you or anything…" he said. John smiled, cupping Karkat's face in both his hands, then leaned forward to kiss him, and he felt Karkat's hand on his wrist tighten slightly before relaxing. Then John pulled back and rested his forehead on Karkat's staring into his eyes.

"Because it feels right," he said, and Karkat chuckled a bit hoarsely and a bit humorlessly, but he accepted the sentiment and leaned into John, letting the other's warmth melt away what worry it could while this moment lasted.

===== Be Tavros

You are Tavros Nitram. And you are, uhh, in a bit of a compromising position. You, uhh, started working for Vriska Serket when you were a young wriggler, because you were too, um, poor and on your own to support yourself. You didn't really like what Vriska, uhh, did, but it kept you fed and healthy. Well, uhh, mostly. There was one, um, time when you had to run from the law and ended up, uhh, falling off a cliff? You, uhh, lost the use of your legs, but it was okay, you, uhh, guessed? Because Vriska had gotten you a, uhh, two wheel device which worked very well. As long as you were on, uhh, flat ground.

You think Vriska had a, uhh, thing for you? Well, she, uhh, didn't kill you for getting um paralyzed, and she may have, uhh, kissed you? A couple times, actually, but you, uhh, didn't like her that way. But you didn't, uhh, tell her, because there was no one you did like. Well, not uhh, not at the time.

But then you met someone, uhh, during one of your jobs for Vriska. He was one of Vriska's clients, but not the bad kind? He was the son of a wealthy owner of several stores around town; like the uhh, general store, and uhh, tailors and a big ranch just outside of town, and uhh, lots of other stores. He was like the uhh, founder of the town. But you never really, uhh, met him? Because he made you nervous. Oh, but, uhh, you were talking about his son; Gamzee. Gamzee Makara.

Gamzee was unlike anyone you'd ever met. He uhh, didn't look at your two wheeled device funny like everyone else. He just seemed to accept it, like it was, uhh, nothing special. And he didn't mind your, uhh, speech impediment much, either. He treated you like a friend before he even knew anything about you. And even though his friend could be kind of, uhh, shouty and mean, you started to see more of him, because Gamzee made you feel… gog, you couldn't really describe it. In the beginning, you'd fell all, uhh, fluttery inside, like, sick, but in a good way? And you would try not to plus when his face got close to yours, or uhh, he said something really nice. Then it started to run deeper; you started seeing Gamzee every chance you uhh, got. Because he was like a drug to you. You could understand Vriska's clients, if the drugs made them feel as good as being around Gamzee made you feel. Because, uhh, it was beautiful and you could never get enough of it. It was like feeling good was just put into a soup, like a creamy tamato soup, and to drink more you needed to get closer and closer to Gamzee. And he didn't seem to mind, either. In fact, he seemed to like that you were there. At first you just thought it was all in your head, but then one day Gamzee kissed you.

'Oh, sorry man; I didn't mean to offend you or anything. But your lips, they're like a motherfucking miracle man, and I couldn't help myself,' he'd said, a goofy smile on his face. And you had been frozen in awe for a few moments before looking into those eyes brought you back and you blushed deep brown.

'No, I… I really like you, Gamzee,' you'd said, shutting your eyes tightly and blushing impossibly deeper as you forced yourself to say it. And you'd been, uhh, worried that he would walk away or something, but then your eyes snapped open when you felt Gamzee sit in your lap.

'Well that's good, cause I motherfucking like you too, Tavros,' he'd said, and it had only gotten better after that. You started staying with Gamzee on his ranch; Gamzee would help you ride hoofbeasts his father owned and you would end up in his favorite places; a hill overlooking the ranch, a large tree branch overhanging a small glen (and at night there would be, uhh, fireflies all around), and a spot in a bend of a river. You didn't really, uhh, do much; mostly you just, uhh, talked. About everything. Gamzee just made it easy to talk; and he actually, uhh, listened to you.

After a while, Ganzee said he wanted to, uhh, be with you. As matesprites. He said he wanted to take all the dark away, and make you happy. You didn't even know Gamzee could be that articulate; but you were worried about Vriska. Gamzee said he didn't care; you were his motherfucking miracle and she could deal with it. And you didn't know how, but the next day Gamzee had left early in the morning, and returned in the evening with all your things. And you had thought that was the end of it.

But it wasn't.

You kept holding on to your thoughts of Gamzee as you sat in the dark. Vriska had had you captured off the ranch, and you were now in a dark room with a bed and a small wardrobe. But it didn't matter because she had, uhh, taken your two wheel device and you just stayed in the bed, curled away from the heavy metal door. Sometimes Vriska would come in and try to, uhh, seduce you, or berate you, or just beat you up. You think she, uhh, was just trying to express her pain but didn't, um, know how to, really. She would tell you how, uhh, she was the reason you were still alive today, and how you, uhh, owed her for all her generosity. You didn't say anything back; because Gamzee never said anything like that, even though you owed him more than Vriska could ever give you.

You wondered how Gamzee was. If he was worried about you, or if he were hurt, or uhh, if he were trying to save you. And you hoped he wasn't doing anything, uhh, that could hurt him. You could bear this if it meant he was okay. You uhh, had thought about escaping, then stopped. If you did escape, it would mean Vriska would be after you, and that she would, uhh, go after the people you cared about. And you would not let her hurt Gamzee. Never would you do that.

So you sat in the dark room. Alone. Clinging to bright memories as if believing in them enough could make things go back; back to the way they were, and this would all be a dream. But you hadn't woken up yet, and it wasn't a dream, and you knew that it was, uhh, impossible; but you liked to pretend it was. Because then you would be with Gamzee again, and that was all that counted.

terminallyCapricious[TC] began trolling narratorChick[NC]

[TC]: tHaT iS sO mOtHeRfUcKiNg SaD

[NC]: i know! isn't it?

[TC]: yEaH, lIkE, i NeEd To Be AlL uP iN tHiS ShIt AnD sAvInG mY MoThErFuCkInG mAtEsPrItE

[NC]: don't worry love, I know you do

[TC]: oH, gOoD, cAuSe ThIs Is MoThErFuCkInG uPsEtTiNg

[NC]: yeah… kay, I'm gonna get back to the story now, dear heart

[TC]: oH, oKaY

terminallyCapricious[TC] ceased trolling narratorChick[NC]

===== Be the narrator chick

John, naturally, was not seen the rest of the day. And Terezi kept herself busy with her typical sheriff duties, as well as keeping an eye out for Gamzee, whom seemed to have gone mysteriously missing. And so the day went, until the regular customers began to appear in the evening.

"Sollux, you look purrturbed," Neputa said, coming to crouch on the other side of the bench. Sollux smiled, but it did little to hide his anxiety.

"Why do you thay that?" Sollux asked. Neputa purred, leaning into her friend, careful not to mess up his playing.

"Because the music isn't as purrty as it usually is," she said, resting her head on his shoulder. Sollux sighed.

"Well, I gueth you could thay I might be a bit perturbed, but I don't want to talk about it," he said. "I'm trying to forget it, actually."

"No no no!" Neputa said, twisting to cling lightly to Sollux's arm and look him in the eye. "That's a horrible idea!"

"Why?" Sollux said, truly curious. Neputa growled a little in frustration.

"Because! You shouldn't get your feelings all messed up like that! You should let them be free!" she said, grinning. Sollux stared at her a few moments.

"Thith ith about your shipping wall, ithn't it?" he asked. Neputa purred, twirling a finger on his arm.

"Meowby," she said, and Sollux sighed in exasperation. "Aw, don't be mad. It's just that you and Dave would be a purrfect match."

"Who thaid anything about Thrider?" Sollux said, but the way he suddenly focused on his playing gave him away, and Neputa giggled.

"Well, who else would we be talking about?" she asked. Sollux said nothing, but he failed at keeping the heat from rising in his face. Neputa giggled again.

"Neputa, what are you doing?" Equis said as he walked up. He was Veiltown's blacksmith, and he had taken Neputa in some years ago when she had turned up in Veiltown, haggard and guarded. Though no one would guess by the way the woman acted now.

"Sollux is finally flushing for Dave!" Neputa announced, and Sollux's hands slammed down on the keys before he composed himself.

"I never thaid that!" he said, face yellow with indignation.

"You did have to~!" Neputa said, sing song, as she scampered into the crowd of dancers. Equis sighed and shook his head.

"I'm sorry; I know she can be a bit excessive…" he said. Sollux sighed.

"No, I know thhe meanth well," he said, smiling at the already sweaty blacksmith. He said it was a family condition. Equis tried to smile, but it was more like a strange grimace.

"Thank you, I'll try to talk to her," he said, and turned to locate her within the dancers. Sollux sighed when they left. He knew Neputa was probably right, about not bottling up his feelings, that is, he just didn't want to admit it. At least, not right now.

"Hey Sollux, are you alright?" Sollux flinched in surprised and looked up to see Jade looking at him, concerned.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine; jutht thinking," he said, putting on a smile. Jade smiled back.

"Oh, well, you looked pretty serious, so I just wanted to make sure you were okay," she said, tray on her shoulder.

"Thanks," Sollux said, smiling becoming genuine. It was only after she walked away that Sollux realized he hadn't blushed like he usually did, and he groaned internally. He couldn't believe it; he really was flushing for Thrider, er, I mean, Strider.

Rose watched these shenanigans from behind the bar as she served the patrons therein. And when Jade came to collect more mugs to serve, she stopped the young woman.

"Jade, what were you talking to Sollux about?" Rose asked, Jade blinked then smiled.

"Oh, nothing much; he just looked really serious, so I asked if he was okay," she said. "Which he totally said he was, so it's all good."

"Alright, just checking," Rose said, knowing that she probably wouldn't get any more from the kind but somewhat clueless girl. Jade nodded and returned to work, Rose watching after her. In the beginning, she had worried about drunken patrons making untoward advances on a young, pretty girl like Jade; however, due in part to the girl's strong friendship with Neputa, it seemed she had a strong protector in the burly blacksmith Equis, and Rose had ceased her worry after only one incident in which Equis had proved this.

But the human dame's curiosity was not sated, and so she waited until she could flag down Neputa and draw her over. The young woman was happy to come, purring as she leaned against the bar.

"Did you need something?" she asked, and Rose could imagine a cat tail twitching behind her and smiled a little at the thought.

"Yes; I wanted to know precisely about the relationship between Dave and Sollux, if you would care to oblige me," she asked graciously, offering Neputa a large mug of milk as incentive. Neputa giggled.

"You don't have to bribe me; I'm purrfectly happy to share," the young woman said, though she still accepted the milk. "Sollux is flushing for Dave; hard."

"Yes, well, that has been quite established," Rose said, and Neptua purred in amusment as she set down her mug.

"That's what purrsume," she said. "I mean that's he's flushing bright purrsimmon red."

"Persimmons are orange, but I'll assume the mistake was made for the sake of the pun," Rose said, and it was clear the wheels had begun clicking her head. "Are you certain of this? And what of Strider? I have heard he was staring quite obviously earlier today."

"Well, I don't meow about Dave, but I'll be sure to find out!" she said, and just as soon was off, probably to find the elusive Strider. Rose idly looked back at Sollux to… she blinked. There was Strider, leaning against the wall next to the piano. How… and dare she thing it… ironic, that this development should occur at this particular moment. It made Rose smile just a little, and then she paused, pursing her lips and scanning the room for the sheriff. The woman was nowhere to be seen. Rose sighed.

While personally she would like to see the couple of Sollux and Strider, simply due to Dave's insistence that it would not be happening, ever. But, as Terezi was a good friend of her matesprite, Rose was also concerned for the sheriff's well being, including her emotional well being. However, after a moment, she sighed and shrugged. The sheriff was a grown woman, and had known what she was getting into when she began her relationship with Strider, and Rose was not going to spend her time fretting over such a matter.

Meanwhile, over by the piano, one could cut the tension with a knife. Sollux and Dave had not spoken a word, yet the troll could feel Strider's eye on him from behind his shades, the gaze intense enough that Sollux could practically feel it running across his skin, as if Strider were examining every inch of him over again. Sollux wasn't sure what the outlaw saw, but he still fought back the heat rising in his cheeks, doing his best to ignore Dave's presence completely. It didn't help much when Neputa appeared.

"Daaave~!" she called, pouncing on the outlaw. Dave kept his compsure, although he nearly was tackled to the ground.

"Sup, Nep?" Dave asked, doing nothing to right his askew hat. Neputa purred, seeming to ignore the general ambiance.

"Well, I was wondering…" Sollux vainly hoped she wasn't going to ask what he thought she was going to ask, "… if, purrchance, you were having flushed feelings for Sollux."

Sollux kept up his act of ignoring Strider, groaning internally that Neputa had so little regard for his presence. As such, he missed the slight tint of Strider's cheeks as the outlaw's gaze continued to bore into him. He did not, however, miss his words.

"Why did you think I was standing here?" he asked. The words took a few moments to reach Sollux's think pan, but when they did, the troll stopped. His mind went completely blank as he turned his head to stare at the outlaw, whose steady poker face gave nothing away. Neputa looked between the two, seeming exceptionally pleased.

"Don't fuck with me, Thrider," Sollux said, returning to playing as a few complaints started. But his cheeks had turned clear yellow, and Dave smirked.

And it was at that moment that Terezi made her entrance, but she was not smiling. She looked very serious, and it showed more by the way her voice carried over the loud saloon.

"Dave, your brother is outside," she said, and it went dead silent. When the elder Strider, leader of the group of bandits that roamed outside of town, showed up in town, risking Terezi's wrath, it was never good. Last time he had, a cult had burnt down half the town. Fortunately no one was hurt, but it still had been a harrowing experience. Dave pulled away from Neputa and walked across the silent saloon, and he and Terezi disappeared out the door together.

After a long silence, Sollux softly began to play again, and the patrons began murmuring amongst themselves, the sound gradually picking up. When John appeared from upstairs, he quietly spoke to Rose before following the others outside. And when Kanaya, having noticed the silence, also emerged, she and Rose began a lengthy discussion behind the bar as the noise continued to increase, slowly returning to its original volume, though the elder Strider's presence was not far from anyone's mind. After a long time, Karkat also emerged from upstairs, coming to talk to Sollux about what just happened.

"Hey Captor, what was that silence about?" he asked, leaning on the top of the piano, though he kept a wary eye for Gamzee.

"Bro Thrider thowed up," Sollux said. Karkat scoffed.

"Yeah, real fucking helpful there, it's all so fucking clear now," he said, making Sollux sigh. But suddenly Karkat was tackled to the ground.

"Karkitty! I didn't know you were in town!" Neputa purred, sitting on top of the irate troll. Sollux raised a brow, looking around the piano to see them.

"You know each other?" he asked, and Neputa grinned at him.

"You fucking batshit cat girl! Will you get the fuck off already!" Karkat yelled, and Neputa giggled but complied. Karkat rubbed his back as he rose. "Jegus fuck, Leijon…"

"Karkitty, you're still so silly," Neputa said. And the two launched into a sort of catching up, and Sollux watched in a kind of amused way. He was glad to find that Karkat had more friends than he had thought, but surprised that Neputa was one of them. Then he smirked as he realized something.

"Neputa, you thould add Karkat to your thipping wall," Sollux said, and Neputa gasped and Karkat scowled.

"Fuck, you still have one of those?" the irate troll said, but was stopped by John's hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, I need to talk to you," Jon said. He looked worried. Karkat glimpsed at Sollux and Neputa before nodding and the pair walked away. There was a moment of no talking before Neputa turned to look at Sollux, a huge grin on her face. Sollux smiled.

"Matethriteth. Definitly," he said, and Neputa purred excitedly, probably already thinking of what she would put on her shipping wall.

"Dave's brother says that some guy left last night, and beat up most his gang on the way. They're lucky they aren't dead; do you know anything about it?" John asked. Karkat clenched his fist to hide that his hands were shaking, and kept his voice level.

"No," he said. John sighed in relief, and Karkat felt like a knife twisted in his gut. But he couldn't tell John the truth; not yet, anyways. On impulse, he pressed a kiss to John's lips. The sheriff's assistant flinched in surprise, and Karkat pulled back to look at him. The look was… searching. And yet intent; like he was very clear on what exactly he wanted to know. John melted in that gaze, and pulled Karkat closer by the waist, kissing him. They were in an obscured corner of the saloon, but it didn't really matter either way. Karkat wrapped his arms around John's shoulders, and when the kiss broke apart he looked in John's eyes again, still intent, still searching.

"I love you," John said, and meant it. Although they had only known each other for three days, John was hooked heavy as lead and didn't want to be free. And in the moment he said it, Karkat's eyes softened, the walls in them completely gone. The troll rested his head in the crook of John's neck and held him close, shaking a bit. John just held him back, until Karkat pulled away, taking John's hand in his own. He pulled vaguely in the direction of the stairs, and wordlessly they went up to John's apartment.

===== Be Terezi

You sat on your bed, thinking. After Bro Strider's shocking revelations, you had gone straight to your room, not sure what you were going to do. That someone could mortally wound all of the elder Strider's gang… it was completely unheard of; especially since Bro Strider himself had been injured. Who could it have been? Were they working with Vriska? How would you stop her if she had that kind of monster on her side?

You didn't notice when Dave entered the room. But nor did you jump when he wrapped his arms around you from behind, his nose tickling your hair. You sighed internally; Dave was probably taking this hard, since he'd never seen his brother injured. The man deserved to be comforted… but… not by you. He needed to be comforted by someone… you bit your lip… by someone he loved.

"Dave… get out of here," you say. Dave stiffens behind you, then pulls you closer.

"No way; it's not cool to leave your girl when she's hurting," he says. You laugh, feeling like you want to cry. His chivalry is painful; you want to accept it, but you know he's only here because he feels he has to be. You unwrap his arms from around you, and he doesn't attempt to stop you. Salt in the wound, but you won't let him know. You give him your best cackle.

"Heheh; come on, cool kid, you know I'm not really your girl anymore. Not when your flushing for someone else," you say. You can taste his cherry red blush, and focus on keeping your face in check as he stands behind you.

"Rez-" he says, but you cut him off with a playful slap of your cane.

"Strider, don't worry, I know how to take care of myself just fine," you say. "Besides, it's not like we ever gave ourselves a label now, is it?"

It was true; in all the years you'd been lovers, not once had you been more than Strider's 'girl', and he had been no more than your lover. Strider ran a hand through his hair.

"I can't leave you alone, Terezi," he said. Snarky, sarcastic and snide, but a gentleman through and through. You cackle again.

"Alright, if it makes the cool kid feel better, I'll go over John's, alright? Now get going and be with your possible matesprite, Strider," you say.

"… if you say so, then…" Dave said. Then he turned and walked across the room, leaving the room without a second glance. When you're in love, it's hard not to ignore the things you know are wrong; or maybe you just don't notice them. Cause when you do, you start to see how impossible it all is, and start to fear that maybe, if you see the flaws, this thing you have will all fall to pieces. That's why you avoid calling it anything; that way, if it doesn't work out, it's all good, because it wasn't anything special to begin with. It was just this thing that happened. The grin dropped from your face.

You are Terezi Pyrope, and the man you thought would be your matesprite just walked out the door.

But you put on a brave face. You replaced your grin flawlessly, pick up your cane and straighten your hat. You click your way down the hall, then rap on John's door. With your hearing, you knew he was with Karkat, and would be happy when he asked you to leave, like any sane person. But when he opened the door, topless and hatless, he took one look at you and pulled you inside with a tight hug.

You wanted to resist, but then your grin faltered, and the tears came on their own and you buried your head in John's shoulder and forgot about Karkat and just let it out. John pulled you over to the couch, and the two of you sat. You dimly heard Karkat say he was going to make some tea, and John nodded his assent. You forgot to feel bad about inturupting John and Karkat, wrapped up in all the hurt you'd hidden since the day you fell in love with Dave Strider and knew he would never love you back. And thru it all John held you, running a hand thru your hair soothingly.

You never told John he was your moirail; but you kind of thought he knew.

===== Be the narrator chick

Meanwhile, Dave had made his way downstairs. Most of the patrons had dispersed by now, and Sollux played softly for the few stragglers left. Dave slide silently behind him. Then the outlaw maneauvered to fluidly lift Sollux into his lap from behind, resting his chin on the troll's shoulder as he started playing with him.

"What are you doing, Thrider?" Sollux asked, surprised.

"What does it look like?" Dave said, and nothing was added as the two played together. Sollux's traditionally style and Dave's erratic self taught style were radically different, yet somehow their playing… matched. It harmonized in a surprising way, an almost hypnotic fashion. But, after some several minutes, Sollux slowed until he stopped playing. Dave continued, however, until Sollux suddenly twisted to kiss him.

Then Dave's hands were on Sollux's waist, and Sollux continued to twist until he was somehow facing Strider, putting on hand on the nape of the outlaw's neck and the other around his shoulders. Dave broke the kiss, then kissed his way down to suck on Sollux's neck, and the troll groaned a bit, pressing against him.

"No sloppy makeouts on the first floor if you're sober," Rose called. The two didn't respond, but Dave stood, holding Sollux against him and the trolls wrapping his legs around the outlaw. They somehow made it up the stairs and into Sollux's room in this condition; Dave easily taking the key from Sollux's pocket.

As Dave had never been in Sollux's apartment, he took a moment to look around – just long enough to locate the door to the bedroom and get inside. There he backed up to sit on the bed, Sollux shifting his legs to be comfortable. And then the troll pushed Dave back.

"Hold on," he said, then took off his dual color shades. Dave was a bit surprised to see the troll's eye were the same clors, but not terribly so. But when the troll put his hands on Dave's shades, Dave instinctively grabbed Sollux's wrist to stop him.

"I…" Dave started, but then faltered. He had nothing to say. Sollux waited, and Dave slowly let his hand drop. Sollux waited a beat longer, then reverently removed the shades. Dave began shaking; no one had seen his without shades since his brother had given them to him. Dave bit his lip as Sollux looked straight in his eyes, setting Dave's shades next to his glasses. Strider wouldn't admit it, but he was self conscious about his eyes. He wondered what Sollux thought as the troll looked at him. Then Sollux brushed Dave's hair back to get an even more clear look at his eyes, and Dave blushed crimson. Sollux leaned forward, eyes going half mast, until his lips barely brushed Striders.

"You have pretty eyeth, Dave," Sollux said, and then kissed him, but they kept eye contact. Sollux slowly leaned Dave back, until he was leaning over him, licking the outlaw's lips for entrance and being granted it. Then did they close their eyes, and Strider wrapped his arms around Sollux's neck. After a couple more moments, however, Dave's breath cracked, and he tried to stop himself but he started to sob and fuck it was so uncool but shit he was terrified right now. But Sollux didn't say anything; he rolled onto his side, pulling Dave into him, cradling the outlaw and gently stroking down his back.

"Fuck, Sollux, I…" Dave tried to explain, to say how he'd never let anyone see his eyes before and how Sollux made him feel like he was naked in ways he didn't know existed, and that it terrified him that someone could break him down so easily and seemed to see straight through him even when he was hiding from himself. But Sollux just shushed him and pressed his lips to Dave's brow. Like he knew. And that kind of terrified Dave, but he didn't mind. He just wanted to lay there for a long, long time, and relearn how to be naked until it felt natural again. And he had a feeling Sollux could wait for him.

Because fuck, Sollux was just as scared as he was.

===== Be Karkat

You sigh, scratching the back of your neck. You are sitting up, John asleep laying next to you. You look over at him, just… watching. He was more than anything you could imagine. You didn't think there could be a person like him; he ran his mouth like a fucking idiot, but hell if he didn't mean it all. And when Terezi had showed up, he knew something was wrong without her even doing anything. He acted like some nooksucking wriggler, all innocence and smiles, yet somehow he could brush right up against the darkness of the world without skipping a beat. You didn't know how he did it; how he seemed like he could dive into all the filth of the world and still come out clean, pure. You snorted softly. He shouldn't be with you. He should be with someone like him, someone on the bright side of the spectrum. Someone away from all the shit he came from, that didn't lie to him or put him in danger.

And you weren't going to put him in danger.

You leaned down kissed John's forehead, then rose, finding your shirt and bandana scarf. You put both on, then reached in your pocket. You brought out Vriska's dice, and bit your lip. You shuffled them in your hand a moment, then set them on the hope chest at the foot of the bed. You looked at John one last time, then slipped out the door. You creeped to the hall door, careful not to wake Terezi asleep on the couch. You padded your way down the stairs, then out of the saloon. You jogged to the stable. You felt bad about talking Sollux's horse, but you needed speed. You led the half gray, half black horse out to the street after saddling her. Then you mounted her and turned toward… home, you guess. It had never really been your home, but you had no other name for Alternia City. You licked your lips.

You were going to face Vriska, and make sure she never knew about your time in Veiltown. You kicked the dual color horse into a gallop and rode off into the night.

===== Be the narrator chick

John's eyes cracked open as he woke up; he'd had a restless sleep, dreaming that… he shot up, looking around. Where was… he spied the dice on the chest. John flung himself across the bed and scooped the dice in his hand, bringing them up to his eyes. For a few moments, he just stared at them as his mind to process what it meant.

"TEREZI!" Terezi fell of the couch as she jumped awake. She sat up, straightening her glasses. But then she had the wind knocked from her as John fell into her, knocking straight into her middle. He was blubbering about something, and Terezi struggled to get her hands on his shoulders and push him back.

"John, look at me, I can't understand what you're saying when you talk into my lap," she said. John looked up at her. There were tears in his eyes.

"''tthinkhe'llbeokayandand-" he started, until Terezi put a finger to his lips. He looked up at her, and was quiet when she removed her finger. Then she licked his forehead, and John closed his eyes as she did.

"So, Karkat flew the coop, but he left Vriska's dice behind and you think he went after her?" she asked. John stared at her in awe.

"You learned that from licking my forehead?" he asked.

"Heheh, no dumbass, I'm fluent in babble," she said, ruffling his hair. John sighed, and smiled a little. Then he bit his lip.

"So… what are we going to do?" John asked. Terezi sighed and looked up in thought, then grinned.

"I'm getting tired of this spider bitch," she said. "Let's go after her."

"Yeah!" John said, smiling as he sat up.

"And I'll stay with Nepeta while you're away," the pair jumped as Jade spoke from the doorway to her room. She was smiling slightly, and John got up and walked over to her. Then he hugged her.

"Thanks, Jade," he said. Jade giggled as her brother held her at arms' length, then playfully bobbed him on the head.

"Of course! Just remember to tell me all about your adventure when you get back," she said, grinning, and John returned the smile. Terezi chuckled as she rose, picking up her hat.

"Well, then let's get preparations ready. John, go rouse Kanaya and ask for supplies; I'll talk to Aradia about getting the horses ready," she said. John let go of Jade, still smiling with new purpose.

"Alright, I'll get right to it!" he said, heading to his room to get his shirt, hat and glasses. Then he paused as a thought hit him. "Wait, who's going to watch the town while we're gone?"

"Heheh, don't worry, I've got it all figured out," Terezi said.

"Thes… oh, hey, Terezi," Sollux said as he answered his door. Terezi grinned like a hyena, smelling his blush. Sollux shifted his weight nervously, feeling a bit awkward.

"Heheh, relax, Captor, I know all about you and the cool kid," she said, and Sollux flinched. "I just need you to give him a message for me."

"Of courthe," Sollux said, relaxing as he realized Terezi wasn't upset. At least, she didn't look upset.

"Tell him me and Egbert are going out of town, and we need him to handel our sheriff duties while we're away," she said. Sollux's jaw dropped. Dave? The sheriff? Did she really think that would work?

"Will do, Rez," Dave said, appearing behind Sollux and making him jump. Dave, shades in place, ducked under Sollux's arm to look at Terezi, expression unreadable as he mutely gave her a good looking over. "No ruffian will dare to ruff long as it's Strider town."

"Heheh, don't let it go to your head, cool kid; there's still Eridan to worry about," Terezi said. It was easier to keep herself in check in the morning; it still hurt, yeah, but she'd done her mourning over the death of their relationship last night, and was ready to move on. And she knew Dave wasn't about to jump up and apologize, because cool kids didn't make mistakes they needed to apologize for. His brother's outlaw training stuck, and Dave smirked and nodded before he and Sollux disappeared back into the piano player's room.

"You're really going to be theriff?" Sollux asked, raising a brow. Dave ran a hand through his hair, and his smirk fell.

"It's the least I can do, you know?" he said, voice deadpan. Sollux sighed and smiled sadly, then cupped the side of Dave's face in his hand and leaned in to kiss him softly.

Outside the room, Terezi sighed; then she turned and headed down the stairs as John emerged from his room, fully dressed. John padded down the hall, then rapped on the door the Kanaya and Rose's apartment. After a few moments, Kanaya opened the door, looking slightly off put.

"Is there something wrong?" she asked.

"Terezi and I are going after Vriska, and we need supplies," he said. Kanaya blinked at him owlishly for a few seconds before turning and walking back in the room. John waited nervously, shifting from foot to foot.

"They're doing what?" Rose asked as Kanaya told her, sitting up. The human dame proceeded to get out of bed and walk to where John was waiting, Kanaya behind her.

"Oh, uh, hey Rose…" John said. Rose gave him a glare.

"What has lead you to the conclusion that this is the solution to the Serket problem? Do you know how dangerous she is? From what information I've managaed to gather, she has a base in Alternia City. You don't have any legal jurisdiction there, John. Please, explain to me why I should allow you and Terezi to venture on such a fool's errand?" she asked. John sighed, then looked down.

"I think Karkat is going after her," he said. Rose was silent a moment, then sighed and pinched her nose.

"Fine, I'll get you what you need. Just promise me you'll be careful; both of you," she added when Kanaya gave her a look. John sighed in relief.

"Well, we'll try; but I'm not sure how careful you can be going after a drug lord spider bitch," John said. Rose rolled her eyes and Kanaya chuckled, and the preparations were set in motion.

"Aradia! Egbert and I need our horses!" Terezi called, entering the stable. A giggle was heard before Nepeta playfully jumped Terezi from behind, and Aradia slowly climbed down from the loft, looking tired.

"Well, good morning to you, too," she said, soft spoken. Terezi grinned.

"Are you and John going on a trip?" Nepeta asked; unlike at the saloon, she wore pants and a shirt in the stables.

"We're going after the spider bitch," she said. Nepeta froze a moment, bit her lip. It was uncharacteristic enough that Terezi and Aradia stared.

"Why? Did… did something happen?" she asked. Terezi sighed.

"We think Karkat went after her," she said. Nepeta shook her head, looking a bit forlorn.

"Gah, stupid Karkitty…" she muttered, then she turned to Terezi, looking determined. "I'm coming with you."

"Heheh, sorry, but I don't want you getting hurt," Terezi said. Nepeta shook her head.

"No, I know how to find Vriska," she said. "I used to think we were friends, until she didn't need me anymore. So if it's helping Karkat and getting back at her, then I'm all fur it!"

"Well, if that's what you want," Terezi said, grinning with a shrug. "Aradia, if you please."

"So, yourself, Nepeta and John; not a problem," Aradia said, pulling a straw of hay from her hair.

"And me," the trio turned to see Eridan strolling in the door.

"Heheh, the great and mighty mayor wants to come along for the ride?" Terezi asked. Eridan sneered.

"Can it, Terezi. If you wwant to hawe free reign to fish out this bottomfeeder, you'll need me there to reel in the paperwwork," he said. "Fef said she'd wwatch the town in my place."

"How did you even hear about this?" Terezi asked, not too pleased that the mayor was joining them.

"I wwas just at the sea-loon, and they were makeraling the preparations there glub," he said. Terezi rolled her blind eyes. Of course; the mayor could never leave them be.

In the course of a few hours, the four were set to go. Equius had agreed to allow Jade to stay in Nepeta's room above his shop while they were away, and Dave had been given a temporary badge to signify his authority. The residents of the saloon, as well as Equius, Aradia and Feferi, were there to see them off as the town just began to wake up.

Terezi was in the lead on her beast of a white stallion, Pyralspite. Behind her on her left was John on his blue roan mare, Casey, and next to him was Nepeta on her dun gelding, Pounce Du Leon. And bringing up the rear on his black stallion, Dualscar, was Eridan. They rode out at a gallop; Alternia City was a good three days ride from Veiltown, and they didn't want to waste any time.

It was hot, and the sun beat down on them mercilessly as they rode. They had wrapped their scarves around the lower halves of their faces so they could breathe through the smoke kicked up by their horses. Terezi didn't really lead her horse so much as told him where to go and hold on while he went along. He was a good, intelligent horse; though it wasn't long before Nepeta took the lead, as a blind woman on a horse wasn't precisely the ideal head for this particular expedition.

They took a rest near a stream after a few hours, letting the horses cool down. They repeated this every couple of hours. At night, they broke for camp. John set up the fire, and since it was chilly Nepeta built the tents. Terezi didn't help because, well, she's blind; and no one expected Eridan to help, so nor did he. Eridan was also the first to fall asleep, and John offered to take the first watch that night. And so it went, and in the morning, John and Nepeta packed up camp and they rode out again.

The second night Terezi took the first watch, but Eridan didn't fall asleep as quickly as he had before. The pair ended up sitting next to each other, looking at the fire.

"So… " Eridan said, gazing at Terezi. Terezi quirked an eyebrow.

"What?" she asked.

"I heard about you and Strider," he said. Terezi snorted.

"Heheh, what did you hear, oh great and mighty mayor?" she asked. Eridan rolled his eyes.

"That you glubbing broke up, and he left you for Sollux," he said, resting his head on his hand and looking at Terezi steadily.

"Heheh, so what, are you going to try and get in my pants now that he's out of the way?" the sheriff said, grinning like a hyena. It was Eridan's turn to snort.

"Like that's fucking possible," he said, throwing another stick on the fire. Terezi's brow drew in confusion, and she looked at the mayor.

"So why did you bring it up? Despite being an asshole, you aren't that low," she said. Eridan sighed, then leaned back on his arms.

"I don't knoww. I guess… I feel bad?" he said. "I mean, I'we been there, you knoww."

"Heheh, oh, I know," Terezi said. Eridan shot her a glare.

"Shut the glub up. Yeah, I hawen't been the best in the romance department, but wwhat I'm trying to say is that I knoww it hurts, and… and I'm glubbing there for you, okay?" he said, falling back. Terezi's jaw dropped a little. That was certainly not what she had expected from the mayor. Then she grinned. Careless, she tossed herself down against Eridan, making him jump slightly before she licked his cheek.

"Awe, Eri, you're blushing," she said, cackling. Before Eridan could reply, Terezi put a hand in one of the mayor's and gave it a light squeeze. "Thank you."

"Uh… oh glub," Eridan said, blushing more fiercely and turning his head away and covering his eyes with his hand. Terezi laughed, sitting up.

"Even if you are a pretentious asshole," she said, and Eridan glared at her between his fingers, but without real malice. The rest of the night passed without incident, as did the next. And, as the sun was setting on the last day, the foursome rolled into Alternia City.

It was very unlike Veiltown; it was extremely large with buildings practically on top of one another, seeming to lean haphazardly into each other. Terezi frowned.

"This place would light up like a wildfire," she said.

"Not your jurisdiction," Eridan said. "But you're right."

"Heheh, whelp, I guess we better get to an inn, then," Terezi said, grinning again as they dismounted, walking their horses into to town. It was surprisingly busy for all that night was encroaching; in fact, the darker it became, the busier the town seemed to get.

"Rose told me to go to the Mother's Touch Inn," John said, and Terezi nodded.

"You know where that is, Nep?" she asked. Nepeta nodded, seeming a bit on edge as she glanced about nervously.

"Follow me," she said, taking the lead and shifting through the crowd, leading them deep into the city before they came across the Mother's Touch Inn. And they stared.

"Is… is that a… wwizard?" Eridan asked, looking at the ridiculously large fountain in the courtyard before the inn.

"Yeah," John said. Terezi merely cackled; being blind, she couldn't see the fountain, but she could imagine. A bit nervously, the group entered the inn, letting a stable boy take their horses. Inside was more wizard paraphernalia, and it was Terezi who first noticed the woman in the pink scarf sipping wine in the middle of the room before a grand staircase.

"We'd like two rooms, please," she said, then cackled. She wasn't spending any more on this trip than she had to. The woman took a slow sip of her wine, then nodded and walked to the counter in the lobby, her heels clicking all the way. She retrieved two keys, handing them to Terezi without a word.

"Thank you, ma'am," Terezi said, tipping her hat with her trademark grin. Then she returned tp the others still staring around the room. "Men will bunk together, and I'll be with Nepeta."

"Wwait wwhat?" Eridan asked, looking a tad irate. "You only got twwo rooms?"

"Well, since it's my money, yesss," Terezi said, handing John the second key. "Now, no more arguing; we need rest before we start investigating tomorrow."

"Glub fine," Eridan said, glaring at no one in particular. And so he and John went to one room, and Terezi and Nepeta to another. The girls went to sleep quickly after a rousing discussion in which Terezi worked to distract Nepeta from her dark thoughts and Pyralspite was a dragon and Pounce Du Leon a cat with two mouths. It was more awkward in the men's room, and both lay in silence for a while, Eridan on the bed and John on the floor.

"Hey, Eridan? You aren't still mad at Karkat, right?" John asked. Eridan sighed.

"No, not really. It's not like I wwas expecting it to wwork out, anywways," he said. John sighed a bit in relief.

"Okay, I just wanted to make sure," he said, smiling. Eridan looked contemplative as he regarded the ceiling.

"So howw much do you fucking like this guy? I mean, you came all the wway here for him, right?" he asked. John giggled, beginning to drift off.

"I don't like him; I love him," he said, mind becoming wrapped in velvety blackness as he fell asleep.

"Oh… I sea… but howw can you glub be so shoal? Hasn't it only been three days?" Eridan said. After a moment of no response, he sat up to look over at John. Seeing the sheriff's assistant was asleep, he sighed and laid back down. After a couple moments, he blushed at something he was thinking, then shook his head and turned over. It didn't take long before he also was asleep.

===== Be Vriska

You are Vriska Serket, and it is about fucking time you were. I mean, seriously, you're only the main plot device here. All of the plot device. All of it.

Anyways, you were in your current headquarters. You had at least eight on hand at any moment, in case one got into trouble somehow and you needed to move to another one. And, attached to each headquarters were eight posts manned by your captains from which you would do your actual dealing. You never handeled the drugs yourself; only an idiot would get their own hands dirty when they could manipulate others into doing it for them.

arachnidsGrip[AG] began trolling narratorChick[NC]

[AG]: I a8ree with this. all of it.

[NC]: vriska, did you forget my rule?

[AG]: wh8t? your stupid rule about not trolling you when we're in the s8me room?

[NC]: yes, that stupid rule

[AG]: okay, just checking, bec8use you have so m8ny stupid rules. all of the stupid rules. all of them.

[NC]: so i've been told. by… everyone.

[AG]: bec8use it's true!

[NC]: is there a point to this? or can I get back to being you?

[AG]: well, I guess… I'll still come bother you though. since we're in the s8me room.

[NC]: idc I can type while you do that

[AG]: fiiiiiiine.

arachnidsGrip[AG] ceased trolling narratorChick[NC]

Now, where were you? Oh, riiiiiiiight. So you had a lot of coals in the fire, so to speak. But lately there had been a problem. Someone had taken out two of your hideouts now. And it was all fucking Vantas's fault! When he took your dice, he took all your luck with him. All of the luck. All of it. So now you had shitty luck and two of your bases were gone. You needed to find Vantas and take the dice from his cold dead fingers. There was no if you had to there. No mercy for those who dared to steal from you. None of the mercy. None of it.

As things were, however, you decided to go have a talk with your prisoner. You hadn't had one for a while, and needed some stress relief. So you went further underground, down to the basement of this joint and to the metal door your prisoner, Tavros, was behind. You put the eight keys in their eight locks, then pushed open the door.

twinArmegeddons [TA] began trolling narratorChick [NC]

[NC]: oh geez what now?

[TA]: don't blow a fuckiing ga2get at me; KK want2 you two unban him

[NC]: what else is new?

[TA]: shut the fuck up. ii already have two deal wiith enough of hii2 biitching wiithout your 2tupiid 2hiit thrown iin.

[NC]: *sigh* i'm sorry

[TA]: well, iit'2 not really your fault. he'll fiind 2omethiing new two biitch about

[NC]: tell me about it. but i guess i can unban him. just… not right now. but soon; i promise

[TA]: good enough, ii gue22.

twinArmegeddons [TA] ceased trolling narratorChick [NC]

You stride over and pull Tavros to the floor. He stares up at you unseeing, like he's in his own liitle world. You frown; then you smile. You put your hands to your head, and use your mind control powers.

===== Be Tavros

Vriska was back. You didn't actually get a good look at her yet; even the light from the door was a little bright after sitting weeks on end in…

Your eyes widen in shock. Standing above isn't Vriska, but…

"Gamzee… ?" you ask in wonder. Gamzee grins, and there's something off about it, but then he sits down next to you.

"That's right Tav; you have no idea how motherfucking long it took to find you," he says, picking you up in his arms.

"Gamzee… but… how?" you ask. "Not that I'm, uhh, not happy to see you, it's just…"

"Motherfucking miracles, Tav," he says, and you feel like crying. It was him, it had to be, it… it wasn't him. It looked like him and sounded like him, but… you just knew it wasn't him. You look down.

"You aren't Gamzee," you say, and hear something akin to a growl. You are thrown across the room, hard enough that there is blood running in your eyes from a cut on your forehead. You look up at Gamzee glaring down at you. As he leans to pick you up again, he turns into Vriska, and she punches you across the face before throwing you against the other wall. You slam into that one as well, then land on the bed.

"I tried to be fucking nice," Vriska said. You curl up towards the wall, hoping she'll go away. "I… I fucking tried."

And then you heard the door slam, and all eight locks click into place. At least she didn't notice the brown tears running down your face.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering narratorChick [NC]

[NC]: yes dave?

[TG]: sup.

[NC]: really? that's what you came with?

[TG]: yeah, well it's this or karkat screaming his fucking head off. and reading this is much more ironic.

[NC]: why? because you have eventual gay sex with sollux?

[TG]: what with all these goddamn spoilers? now i don't know if i want to keep reading. it's all romeo and Juliet up in this shit now; what's the point of reading a story you already know the end to?

[NC]: it's ironic? X3

[TG]: … well said.

[NC]: thank you.

[TG]: so, what has been happening with me and my wild west lover while all this shit been going down in alternia city?

[NC]: dave, is this… anticipation I sense?

[TG]: just a brother being curious.

[NC]: oh, don't be coy, dave. you're just looking forward to that sex scene, aren't you?

[TG]: you got me. i'm all sitting up in my room-

[NC]: sollux's room.

[TG]: sollux's room, for the most ironic purposes, because i'm just waiting for you to write about sollux's hot bone bulge and how it gets story dave all hot and bothered, and how we get pornographic and sweaty together

[NC]: and make beautiful music together~

[TG]: dude. no.

[NC]: XD

[TG]: you're actually going to put that now, aren't you?

[NC]: well, given earlier events, it certainly seems…

[TG]: ironic

[NC]: X3

[TG]: fine. get on with your gaying it up like brokeback mountain all up in here

[NC]: i never saw brokeback mountain

[TG]: really?

[NC]: inoright?

[TG]: well, whatever. later.

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering narratorChick [NC]

===== Be narrator chick

So, things were happening while the lucky foursome was in Alternia City. Firstly, Dave didn't make a bad sheriff. In fact, he was actually pretty good at it, since he already knew a lot from all the time he'd spent with Terezi. It may have helped that Bro Strider was watching his back, but that definitely wasn't the only reason.

Dave also started staying in Sollux's apartment. However, he quickly discovered that Sollux had no intention of putting up with the bullshit Terezi had allowed.

"If you're thtaying here, then you're moving in," Sollux said. "No extheptionth."

And that, quite frankly, was that. It didn't take long to move Dave in. He didn't have very much to move; his collection of incredibly shitty guns, a piano his bro had managed to nab for him (moved with help from Equius), his clothes and that was about it. They moved it all into Sollux's spare bedroom, even though Dave slept in Sollux's room. They still hadn't done it, because they were both still insecure, but they still liked each other's company. And sloppy makeouts. Those were fun, too.

Meanwhile, Jade was having a nice time staying in Nepeta's room. She'd been there many times before, and so was not at all uncomfortable with staying in someone else's room by herself. And when she got up and ready, Equius was also awake, since he often kept long hours. But the burly blacksmith would make coffee in the morning, and Jade took a shining to it. She also found she liked talking with Equius. Though it was slightly awkward the first morning, it became something of a routine.

"Good morning!" Jade said, smiling brightly as she entered the small but tidy kitchen. Equius smiled gently (a new expression for the blacksmith).

"Good morning," he said, offering Jade a cup of coffee. "Did you sleep well?"

"Perfectly!' Jade said, taking the proffered coffee and taking a swig. "And you?"

"Exceptionally well," he said, though he began sweating as Jade smiled at him.

"That's great! I'm glad to hear it," she said. Equius scratched the back of his neck.

"Well… I better get to work!" he said, standing. Jade sat down, frowning a bit.

"Aw, really? Can't we talk a little more?" she asked. Equius was sweating in earnest now.

"Ah, well, if the lady insists," he said, sitting down again. Jade giggled.

"Equius, you're so silly," she said. "But it's okay, because you're really nice, too."

"Th-thank you," Equius said. "I… I think you are also quite kind. If you'll excuse me, I think I need a towel."

And with that Equius did leave, and Jade wondered after him curiously, thinking that she might have seen him blush, but wasn't sure.

And as mayor, Feferi was having a hard time. She had thought being mayor would be really -EXCITING! But… it turned out it was nearly all paperwork. Really broing paperwork. And after that she had to walk around town and talk to EVERYBODY, even people she didn't like, to make sure everything was going okay. She really didn't like being mayor, and though she did a pretty good job, she just wanted something more exciting to do. She hoped that the Vriska case would be over soon, so that Eridan could be mayor again and she could maybe find a more exciting job than being his assistant.


	3. Chapter 3

gah! sorry, FF doesn't pick up arrows, so it messes some stuff up, please bear with it... 

* * *

><p>===== Be Eridan<p>

You wwake up slowwly, early in the morning as force of habit. You sigh and sit up. You look ower to see John still asleep on the floor. Typical. No one knowws wwhat a wworkahlic you are; you're like a fucking shark, newer stopping. Wwell, you didn't mowe in your sleep, but the analogy wwas still walid.

You get up and get ready, leawing quietly as possible. You needed to go sea the mayor of Alternia City. You wweren't reelly fond of the man, but it wwas nes-sea-cary. And you kneww he kelped the same early hours you did; you kneww from wwhen he had stayed in Vieltown previously, makeralling a mess of the Jack Noir case. Wwell, he didn't glub reelly do anything, he just tried to take shoal credit from Terezi's wwork. Like he kneww how sea wwas going to reel in the bandits the whole time.

Wwalking through the empty streets, you thought about wwhat a fishy guy Mayor Scratch wwas. Alwways wwearing a wwhite mask, and acting like he kneww ewerthing. He wwas a bigger perch than you wwere. But you decided not to dwwell on it as you made it to the mayor's mansion.

===== Fail to be Mayor Scratch

===== Be narrator chick instead

Mayor Scratch looked out the window, standing with his hands clasped behind his back. He was waiting for his guest, Mayor Ampora, to arrive and ask for permission to hunt down Vriska Serket. Of course, it didn't really matter whether or not Mayor Scratch gave his permission; Sheriff Pyrope would case after Serket regardless. Mayor Scratch did not stir when the door to his office was opened.

"Welcome, Mayor Ampora; please make yourself at home," he said. Mayor Ampora growled. He did not sit.

"I'll make this brief, Scratch-"

"Your sheriffs have my permission to hunt down Vriska Serket; they may use whatever means they deem nessecary," Mayor Scratch said. Now he turned to look at Mayor Ampora. The nautically themed mayor stands, shocked, before proceeding to glare.

"So, you heard of wwhat happened, it sea-ms," he said. Mayor Scratch sighs.

"I suppose you will come to that conclusion no matter what I tell you, thus I will refrain from correcting you," he said. Mayor Ampora sighs, appearing frustrated.

"Great, more of this clairwoyence bullshit," he said. Mayor Scratch shook his head.

"Mayor Ampora, as I have formerly told you, I am not clarivoyent; I am omniscient," he said.

"Then wwhy is Jack Noir still free as a wwhale here?" Mayor Ampora asked.

"Actually, he refers to himself as Spades Slick now; and he will be stopped, in time," Mayor Scratch said.

"Yeah, wwell, whatewer," Mayor Ampora said. "I guess I'll go, since that wwas all I glub needed."

"Indeed you will," Mayor Scratch said, making Mayor Ampora grin his teeth in frustration. "Happy hunting."

"Since you're omniscient, don't you knoww if wwe succsea-ed or not?" Mayor Ampora asked as he opened the door. If Mayor Scratch had a visible mouth, he would have smiled in amusement.

"Ah, but that would be cheating, don't you think?" he asked; Mayor Ampora merely growled and left. Mayor Scratch then returned to gazing out the window, appearing deep in thought…

===== Veiltown, same time of day

"We need to talk about thith, Dave," Sollux said, putting an arm out to shut the door as Dave opened it. Dave's face was his typical deadpan, but he may have frowned just a little.

"Sollux, I have work to do," Dave said, waiting. Sollux frowned. Then he reached forward and snatched Dave's shades before the interim sheriff had time to respond.

"Not without thethe you don't," he said, holding the shades up and taking a few steps back. Now Dave did frown, sporting a small blush.

"Not cool, dude," Dave said. Sollux snorted.

"You running away from your feelingth ith what ithn't cool," Sollux said, watching Dave for the inevitable grab for shades. Dave ran a hand through his hair. He was still uncomfortable without his shades, even around Sollux, and it bothered him. Shit, a lot of things still bothered him, but he wasn't about to fucking admit to that. Which was what had started this mess in the first place, he guessed.

Sollux had been trying to talk with Dave for the past three days, and on the fourth he was not letting Dave weasel his way out if it yet again. They were going to sit down, and they were going to talk. They didn't have to solve everything right there, but Sollux just felt like it needed to be out there. Dave wouldn't break down sobbing if there wasn't a problem, and part of it was that Dave was too scared to own up to it.

"What do you mean, running from my feelings? You must have things mixed up, cause last time I checked, I'm still here, bro," Dave said, but not as biting as usual. Losing his shades made Dave feel vulnerable; Sollux knew this. In fact, he was counting on it.

"You know what I mean," Sollux said, leaning against the wall. He needed Dave to say it; if Sollux said it, it would defeat the purpose. Dave's blush darkened, and he bit his lower lip.

"Sollux, give me my fucking shades back. Now," Dave said. Sollux twiddled with the shades in his hands.

"Not a chanthe, not until you thart talking," Sollux said. And there it was; Dave lunged forward, and Sollux held the shades up out of his reach. However, Dave's momentum caused them both to fall to the ground, and they struggled, Dave trying to slide his way up Sollux's body to reach his shades. Sollux stopped him with a strong hand on Dave's shoulder. After a few more moments of struggling, Dave sighed and let his head drop to Sollux's shoulder. He mumbled something. "What wath that?"

"I'm fucking scared, okay?" Dave said, rising to look down at Sollux. Near his whole face was red now, from a mixture of embarrassment, exertion and anger. "I'm straight up terrified out of my mind because you seem to see right through me and it scares the shit out of me. It's always just been me; I didn't need a shoulder to cry on cause I didn't cry, and I didn't need a punching bag cause I didn't get angry, and that's how I learned to be strong. Because I didn't need anyone for anything. It was just… it was just me. And I'm fucking terrified because I think I might need you, Sollux. And I'm scared shitless that if I go all the way with you, if I let you in, that I won't be able to be just me anymore. Shit." Dave sits back, and Sollux rises on his elbows. Dave runs a hand through his hair. "Is that what you wanted to hear? Is that it?"

Sollux gently pushed his free hand under Dave's, caressing his cheek. Then he sits up, kissing Dave as he brings his other hand up to cup his face. Dave melts into the kiss, still blushing. Then Sollux pulled away.

"I'm thcared too," he said as he slips on Dave's shades. "Fuckath." Sollux smirked. Dave snorted.

"Who's the fuckass?" he said, then leaned in and kissed Sollux again. He would never admit it, but talking made him feel… lighter. But then again, he didn't really have to admit it. Sollux already knew.

===== Alternia City, later that morning

Terezi woke up and stretched. She grinned; she had a good feeling about today.

John stirred awake to the loud pounding on his door. He shot up and stumbled across the room to yank the door open. Terezi grinned at him, Nepeta behind her. Both were already up and dressed, which was slightly odd as John usually rose before the both of them.

"Come on John, it's time to get moving! We're wasting daylight!" Terezi said. John sighed, rubbing a hand over his eyes. He hadn't slept well last night, and it was evident from the light bags under his eyes. He gave Terezi a smile.

"Sorry; I'll be out in a minute," he said, closing the door softly. Terezi frowned and sighed, scratching the back of her neck. On the other side of the door, John paused for a few moments, closing his eyes as he collected himself. This was it. They needed to work fast to find Karkat and stop Vriska before something went wrong. John sighed again, opening his eyes and raising his head as he turned.

This was it.

"What was wrong with John?" Nepeta asked. Terezi grinned a little.

"He's just worried," she said. Nepeta looked up in thought, frowning.

"But… he's never worried," she said. Terezi ruffled Nepeta's hair.

"He's worried about Karkat," the sheriff said. Nepeta smiled bitter sweetly in realization. Both women turned their heads as John reopened the door, dressed and ready to head out. He was smiling, but it was a serious smile. A determined smile.

"Let's do this!" he said, and Terezi grinned.

The investigation started in the streets. Nepeta said that Vriska had more than one base, and the first thing they needed to do was figure out which one she was at. So they circulated the different areas where Vriska's agents worked. Except that they kept running into dead ends as the day wore into the afternoon. And each time they discovered that Vriska's agents were nowhere to be found, Nepeta became increasingly distressed.

"It's not pawsible! We've been to fifteen posts already!" Nepeta said. John and Terezi, however, were distracted by another situation at hand.

"Not one survivor in any of them," Terezi said, frowning.

"And those guys were professionals. What do you think happened?" John asked. Terezi sighed, stroking her chin as she thought.

"It looks like we aren't the only ones after Serket," she said. "And I don't think this other guy is just after justice."

"Damn," John said, looking off. "Whoever it is must be a monster; it's like hearing about Bro Strider's gang all over again…"

"Strider's… shit, John, I think it is the same person," Terezi said, turning and running back into the post they'd just exited. She leaned down, running her hands over the wounds of one of the bodies.

"What do you mean?" John asked, entering more hesitantly and cautiously leaning down next to her. Nepeta remained outside, but peeked her head in through the door.

"Think about it; Bro said that the guy that hit them used something like clubs. All these guys have injuries like those made by a blunt object, like a small club," Terezi said. "And Vriska's frontrunner, didn't he have juggling clubs on him?"

"You don't think-" John started.

"It makes sense, John. And he had good reason to have a vendetta against Serket, don't you think?" Terezi said. John bit his lip. Try as he might, and as much sense at it made, he couldn't imagine the stoner troll hurting anyone, and not this vicously.

"But… how?" he asked as Terezi stood. Terezi sighed.

"I don't know; I'm going to find out, though," she said, turning with a purpose. "And I know just how to find the spider bitch before he does."

===== Veiltown, same time of day

Equius sighed, wiping his brow as he finished up his work for the day. He looked outside the wide barn like doors, into the street. There were people running around, finishing last minute errands or hurrying home. There were some boys playing some rough and tumble game, and few couples simply strolling and enjoying the general ambiance of the sunset.

The blacksmith wasn't entirely certain what to do with himself; usually he would still be working as Nepeta would come by to pester him throughout the day. She also made sure he stopped to eat at midday, as he would often be too consumed by work to remember on his own. Then, at the end of which, she would drag him along to the saloon where they would remain until closing time. Speaking of which, Equius had forgotten his midday meal today, and found himself feeling hunger pangs. Packing up today's work, he decided he would stop by the saloon early today, and catch a meal while he was at it.

Equius finished closing up shop, then made his way down the calm street to the saloon. He walked in, the air cooler inside thanks to the shade. There were a good but not busy amount of patrons. Equius went and sat at the bar, nodding to Jade as she saw him. She smiled, and Equius found himself feeling a little warm, wiping at his lip.

"You're early," Kanaya said, and Equius turned to her.

"Well, I found myself excided of work, and also exceptionally hungry, and thought it would be prudent to handel the situation," he said. Kanaya nodded.

"Did you forget to eat without Nepeta reminding you?" she asked, smiling in amusment. Equius nodded.

"I'm afraid I'm easily distracted," he said. Kanaya nodded.

"Then allow me to procure a meal for you," she said. Equius inclined his head.

"I would be much obliged to you," he said. As Kanaya turned from the bar, Jade walked up, carrying her tray flat in front of her.

"Hi Equius! How was your day?" she asked, smiling brightly. Equius pulled a rag from his back pocket and wiped at his suddenly sweaty brow.

"Oh, it was… exceptional. And how was yours?" he asked. Jade sat down on the stool next to him.

"Well, it was okay. It's not as interesting without Nepeta, John and Terezi here," she said, flicking some hair behind her shoulder. The way the light came through the swinging doors, it hit the young woman in such a way that Jade's skin seemed to be slightly glowing. Equius blinked behind his shades before pointing his gaze forward, wiping the sweat from his face with more fervor.

"I have a similar feeling," he said. Jade looked at him curiously a moment, then realization hit her and she giggled.

"Here you are, Equius," Kanaya said, setting a simple but hearty meal before the blacksmith. "Jade, can you take these drinks to the gentlemen over there?"

"Of course," Jade said, loading up her tray before whisking away with a twirl of her skirt. Kanaya looked at Equius a moment, then smiled, cupping her chin.

"Equius, I do believe you are blushing," she said. Equius flinched, then his light blush turned a medium blue.

"I-" he started.

"I think she likes you, too," Kanaya said before walking away. Equius's blush went deep sapphire. He hesitantly looked over his shoulder to look at Jade; she was smiling as she served drinks, and laughed at something. Equius looked forward again, running a hand through his hair as a small smile crept onto his face.

===== Alternia City, same time of day

"We'd like to see the Mayor," Terezi said, grinning down at the woman behind the desk. John shifted from foot to foot as he read the name card on the desk: Ms. Snowman. The woman looked over her delicate eyebrows, then snorted softly.

"Iffen Mayar Scratch is expectin' y'all, he'll call," she said, lacing her fingers over her desk. Terezi chuckled.

"Of course he will," she said, then turned from the desk. Callously, she strolled over and threw open the doors to the Mayor's office, making John and Nepeta jump in surprise. Ms. Snowman, however, made no move against her, simply returning to her work.

"Good evening, Mayor Scratch!" Terezi said, waltzing into the room. Nepeta and John followed hesitantly.

"Good evening, Sheriff Pyrope," Mayor Scratch said. He was sitting in one of the two wingback chairs adoring the room, a cup of tea in his hand. "Please, make yourself comfortable."

"Don't mind if I do," Terezi said, plopping down in the other wingback chair across from the first. John and Nepeta drifted to the small couch nearby, watching the duo with interest.

"How have you been since we last spoke, Ms. Pyrope?" the mayor asked. Terezi grinned.

"Heheh, I'm sure you already know," she said. John and Nepeta glanced at each other.

"Well naturally; it is merely proper to inquire," Mayor Scratch said. Then he flinched. "Oh my, I have forgotten myself." He turned to John and Nepeta. "Forgive me for not introducing myself; I'm Mayor Scratch."

"N-nice to meet you. I'm John Egbert, Sheriff's Assistant," John said.

"And I'm Nepeta Leijon," Nepeta said. Mayor Scratch nodded.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance," he said. "Now, Ms. Pyrope, back to what you came for-"

"And you know I won't take no for an answer," she said. If he had a visible mouth, Mayor Scratch would have smiled in amusement.

"No, I dare say you will not. You can find Ms. Serket in the basement of an inn known as Arachnid's Grip, I'm certain Ms. Leijon knows where it is," he said, inkling his head to Nepeta. Nepeta nodded slowly, and she and John rose as Terezi did.

"Well then, thank you for your time, Mayor Scratch; we'll be on our way," she said, walking nearly to the door.

"Oh, and Ms. Pyrope?" Mayor Scratch said. Terezi paused without turning, while John and Nepeta looked back. "Were I you, I would hurry."

As soon as they reached the street, Terezi turned to Nepeta. It was nearly dark now, and her grin had disappeared.

"Nepeta," she said. "Run."

===== Be Vriska

What the hell was going on? Now five of your headquarters had been taken out, and you still didn't know what had happened. You sat, chewing a nail as you attempted to figure out what was happening. You had various charts , documents and a map of Alternia City on the desk before you. There was a knock at the door leading to the first floor.

"What is it?" you shout. You didn't have time for bullshit right now, and hoped this was important.

"We found Vantas," someone called from the other side of the door. You paused. You allowed a grin to slowly spread over your face as you turned to face the door.

"Come in," you call. The door is opened, and Karkat is thrown down the stairs. He groans as he gets one arm under him, pushing up. You see blood dripping down his face from his nose, as well as other cuts and bruises all over him. Then one of your men was heaving him up by the hair, causing a colorful string of curses from Karkat.

"Stupid fucker walked right in the front door," your man said. You chuckled, standing and walking over to Vantas. He had one eye closed from pain, but the other he fixed in a glare upon you. You stoop before him, then run two fingers in his blood, then examine them.

"Humph, I always knew you were a freak," you said.

"Better than a spider bitch," Karkat spat. Your man yanked back on his hair, making Karkat whimper in pain. You wiped your fingers off on his shirt, then grabbed his neck in a choke hold, bringing him close.

"Where are my dice, Vantas?" you ask. Karkat spits in your face. You blink. "Wrong answer."

===== Be Karkat

Oh shit oh shit oh shit I am so fucked right now oh shit oh shit oh shit…

===== Be the narrator chick

Or he would have been screwed, had there not been a sudden explosion of gunfire upstairs. All three in the room looked up. Vriska's man let go of Karkat, drawing his gun as he creeped up the stairs. He slowly opened the door as gunfire continued. Then he was thrown backwards suddenly, landing at the bottom of the stairs, his nose bashed into his brain. Vriska and Karkat stared, wide eyed.

"Shit," Vriska said, dropping Karkat and turning and running. Karkat gasped, barely catching himself before he hit the floor. He rubbed his throat, looking up the stairs as it grew quiet. His eyes grew wide.

A single figure descended; he had two juggling clubs in his left hand, and one in his right. Black and white face paint was smeared haphazardly on his face, multicolored blood was everywhere. But it was his eyes that were the most terrifying. Half mast eyelids, but the eyes beneath were clear and cold, seeming to reflect the shadows in the room.

"G…" Karkat choked on his words. "Gamzee."

"Oh hey, motherfucking best friend. Looks like you showed up after all," Gamzee said, voice a low rumble. He walked in slow, measured paces. Karkat didn't move a hair, not even shifting his gaze as Gamzee walked up to stand before him. Karkat was petrified; too terrified to breathe. Gamzee stood before him a few moments, silent. Then, slowly, he turned, walking in the same direction that Vriska had run off. Karkat remained frozen where he was.

Vriska ran through the hall, then briskly shuffled down the stairs to Tavros's room, taking them two at a time.

"Ack!" Vriska fell, halfway down the stairs. Something had hit her in the back of the head, and she felt a wet sensation spreading as she slammed down to the bottom of the stairs. Vision a bit blurry, Vriska half crawled to the metal door, hands shaking as she reached for her keys. She could hear Gamzee on the steps behind her, and she swore as she dropped her keys. She scrambled to pick them up, then scrapped around the first lock. She unlocked it after a few tries, then moved to the next lock. After another couple of failures, she managed to get that one open, too. Then the next one… why did she have so many fucking locks?... but she was getting steadier and managed to get the rest open before Gamzee reached her.

===== Be Tavros

You jumped as the something slammed against the door. You sat up, looking over. Usually you would just ignore it, but something felt… wrong. The noise continued, and you took a deep breath.

You rolled off the bed, hitting the ground hard. You turned yourself around, and started pulling yourself across the floor. It was difficult, your legs being two dead weights, but you managed it, inch by inch, biting your lip as you struggled. When you reached the door, you used the locks to pull yourself to sitting; but, as you almost reached sitting, the door slipped open and you caught yourself on your hands. You stared in shock, jaw dropping. Vriska was on the ground, blue blood streaming from the coner of her mouth, covered in blood and bruises. And standing over her, poised to strike the final blow, was Gamzee.

===== Be John, a few minutes before

When you saw the door to Arachnid's Grip wide open, two guards sprawled in the alley, you knew something was terribly wrong. You poured on the speed in your run, getting ahead of Terezi and Nepeta as you grabbed the doorframe to swing into the inn.

There were bodies everywhere; you scrambled around and over them, jumping clean over the bar to reach a door behind it. You half ran half fell down the stairs, and when you reached the bottom you saw him.

"Karkat!" you said. He didn't respond. He looked terrified; it made your stomach drop out and your heart leap into your throat.

===== Be Karkat

You were getting light headed from holding your breath. You thought you heard someone say something, but it was hazy. It happened again, and a third time-

You were suddenly aware of John's face inches from yours, his hands on your shoulders and as soon as that registered you grabbed him and wrapped him in a vice grip around his waist, burying your head in his shoulder. You didn't know what the fuck John was even doing here, but fuck were you glad to see him. You were shaking now, and you were crying but you didn't give a fuck because you were alive and John was here and he was holding you back tightly, saying some pansy ass shit to calm you down but hell it was working. You breathed in his scent; for right now, you just wanted to lose yourself there, right there.

===== Be the narrator chick, presently

The shot rang off as Gamzee's shoulder jerked forward, the club flying from his hand. He growled and whipped his head to look up the stairs. Terezi stood, holding her revolver level with Gamzee's eyes. He turned, about to take the first step up.

"Gamzee STOP!" Gamzee flinched, then turned his head to look over his shoulder. Tavros sat in the doorway, tears forming in the corners of his eyes as he kept his gaze on Gamzee, pleading with his eyes and hoping it would be enough.

"Tav...?" Gamzee said. He was in standstill; his brain was working, trying to lock the gears in place and make sense of what he saw.

"Gamzee, please… please, stop…" Tavros said, the tears then spilling down his cheeks. Gamzee turned around; he walked as if in a haze, coming to stand before Tavros, then sinking to his knees. His useful arm rose, his hand lightly cupping Tavros's cheek.

"Tavros… you don't want revenge…?" Gamzee asked. He still was not thinking entirely straight, and was struggling to come to terms with the situation. Tavros put one hand over Gamzee's, and the other lighted on his matsprite's arm.

"I don't need revenge; I just need you," he said. And with that Gamzee's mind folded in on itself, and he closed his eyes and kissed Tavros, then rested his head on his matesprite's shoulder.

"I'm glad you're safe," he breathed, and Tavros wrapped his arms around him.

Meanwhile, Terezi had made her way down the stairs. She smiled softly at the scene between Gamzee and Tavros. She flinched when Vriska groaned, then grinned as she walked over, looking down at her.

"Vriska Serket?" she asked. Vriska blinked, trying to focus as she looked up at Terezi.

"Yes," she said. Terezi cackled, stepping around Vriska and pulling her handcuffs out. The sheriff crouched down, pulling Vriska's arms behind her back.

"My name is Sheriff Terezi Pyrope, and I'm arresting you on the charges of Possession of Illegal Substances, Holding of Persons Unwilling, Masterminding a Crime Syndicate and General Spider Bitchery."

"That's not a real charge," Vriska said, then cried out as Terezi pulled her to her feet. Terezi leaned by her ear.

"Heheh, it is if I say it is," she said. Then she looked to Gamzee and Tavros. "Mr. Makara, would you care to accompany us?"

"Are you going to arrest me too?" Gamzee asked, looking over at Terezi. Terezi tilted her head, still grinning.

"Why would I do that? The way I see it, you did this town a favor," she said. Gamzee looked skeptical. Terezi sighed. "Look, what you did was wrong, but I understand why you did it. You weren't trying to be cruel, you just wanted your matesprite back. And I… I get it. And besides, you did take out almost an entire drug organization. So, as long as you don't plan any killing sprees in the future, I'm going to let you off the hook for this one."

"If you motherfucking say so," he said, then turned. He had Tavros climb on his back, then carefully rose to his feet, supporting Tavros with his good arm. Terezi pushed Vriska forward, and they went up the stairs first, followed by Gamzee and Tavros.

When they reached the top, Nepeta bounded forward, ignoring Vriska while talking animatedly with Terezi. The sheriff grinned as she answered. Karkat pulled away from John to look over, and flinched when he saw Gamzee. But then he relaxed as the painted troll looked at him, revealing that his eyes had softened. They were more aware than they usually were, but the coldness had fled.

And so John and Karkat rose, and the entire group left the scene. Terezi paid for two more rooms; in one she put Vriska (she didn't trust the local laws enforcement after all she'd seen), and one was for Gamzee and Tavros, as it was too late for them to ride all the way to Gamzee's ranch.

"Don't worry, I can reimburse you later," Gamzee said. Terezi chuckled.

"Don't worry about it; for right now, you should think about getting washed up," she said, handing the room key to Gamzee. She had sent John to lock Vriska up, and he walked down with Eridan behind him.

"So it sea-ms you succ-sea-ded," he said, crossing his arms. Terezi grinned.

"What? You can't crack a smile?" she said. Eridan sighed and rolled his eyes. Karkat scooted behind John, trying to nonchalantly remain out of the mayor's sight. Eridan saw him from the corner of his eye, however, and turned.

"And you can reelax; you wwere off the hook once Wriska sailed in," he said, sporting his usual scowl. John giggled a bit as Karkat scowled himself. Then Eridan jumped as Terezi threaded an arm through his.

"Heheh, well Eri, looks like you'll be bunking with the girls tonight," she said. Eridan looked surprised, even blushing as Terezi tugged him along, Nepeta right alongside.

"Wwhat? Wwhy?" he asked, struggling weakly against Terezi's hold. Terezi flashed him her grin and licked his cheek.

"Are you scandalized?" she asked, chuckling as Eridan's blush deepened. Then, once they were in the hall. "It's just to give John and Karkat time alone; unless you really want to be there for that…"

"Uh… no, I'll just sleep in your room," he said, still weakly tugging at Terezi's hold. Which, rather than loosening, Terezi gripped Eridan's arm with her other hand, practically hanging off of him as she tugged him along. Nepeta hummed behind them, thinking thoughts of a certain wall of a certain occupation…

That left John, Karkat, Gamzee and Tavros in the lobby. Tavros was sitting in one of the somewhat ostentatious chairs. Silence hung in the air as the four looked at each other. Then Gamzee clapped Karkat on the back, smiling. Karkat jumped, then looked away, blushing. He'd been friends with Gamzee long enough to practically hear what he meant. 'I'm motherfucking happy for you, bro.'

Then Gamzee, arm in a makeshift sling, helped Tavros on his back, and the two went upstairs, leaving John and Karkat. The men stood a moment, and John scratched the back of his neck. Karkat bit his lip; he was looking at John's hand. After a moment, he reached out and lightly threaded his fingers through John's. The sheriff's assistant looked down at their hands, smiling gently as folded his finger to hold Karkat's hand. Then he gently tugged, and they walked up the stairs to the room, still holding hands.

Once the door was closed, John turned and pressed his lips to Karkat's, wrapping an arm around his waist. Karkat pressed back, running a hand through John's hair. It was slow, silken, savory, sensual. They progressed, unrushed; as the kisses deepened, their shirts seemed to find their own way to the floor. John's hat went on a bed post, his gasses on a side table. They slide up the bed, John laying against the slightly coarse sheets. It faded into sensation; Karkat's tongue against his skin, his teeth lightly scraping the crook of his neck, his hands exploring his sides, his abdomen, chest, back. The feel of Karkat's leathery skin under his hands, the slightly salty taste of the gray skin, the growing warmth coming off him. Neither were sure when they lost their clothes beneath the waist, but the slick friction as their members slid against other kept it from bothering them all that much. Hot breath against hotter skin, sweat slicked skin creating the most delicious moans from both men. Before he knew it, John's legs were on either side of Karkat, and the troll was inside of him. Karkat moaned in pleasure, and John whimpered, caught in the cross between the oh so thin line of pleasure and pain. He moaned and writhed as Karkat moved and then oh… _oh_.

It was all pleasure then, as Karkat hit _that spot_, and John met every thrust. Thought was a made up word, a concept not found in the confines of warmth and sensation and pleasure. Waves of pleasure washing over them, saturating them, blurring the lines between them until they simply bled into each other. As they reached their peak, calling each other's names, John arching off the bed and Karkat burying his head in John's shoulder, there were no lines. There was just John and Karkat; one being. Inseparable.

And after, as they lay, facing each other, John's eyes were open a sliver, and he traced swirling shapes against Karkat's shoulder. Karkat was awake, but his eyes were closed. They were both on the edge of sleep, and John had a gentle smile on his face. He let his gaze trace Karkat's skin, then they flicked up to the troll's face.

"Hey Karkat?" he asked, quiet.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"…" Karkat opened his eyes. He leaned forward and kissed John softly, then laid his head back down. He stared into John's eyes for a long moment. "I love you. Now go to sleep, fuckass."

John giggled, but complied, snuggling closer to Karkat and letting out a contented sigh. And, just before drifting off, he thought of how it was another just damn right moment to add to the list…

And now is as good a time as any, I suppose…

narratorChick [NC] unbanned carcinoGenecist [CG]

carcinoGenecist [CG] began trolling narratorChick [NC]

[CG]: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT THIS FUCKING SHIT, NONE THE LESS GO AND PUT IT ON DISPLAY FOR EVERYONE TO FUCKING SEE! OH MY GOD, YOU ARE SUCH A NOOKSUCKING WASTE OF SPACE! LIKE I WOULD EVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS! YOU CAN'T EVEN FUCKING WRITE ME IN CHARACTER! I'M NOT GENTLE AND NO WAY I'M GOING SAY SUCH BULLSHIT THAT YOU INSUFFERABLE PINK MONKEYS THINK SO FUCKING MUCH OF! BECAUSE IT'S NOT LOVE, IT'S PITY. GET YOUR FUCKING FACTS STRAIGHT.

[NC]: … but you would have sex with john?

[CG]: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? THAT'S WHAT YOU GOT FROM THAT?

[NC]: that's not a denial, karkles

[CG]: BECAUSE THAT QUESTION DOESN'T EVEN DESERVE MY FUCKING ATTENTION. I WOULDN'T CONDESEND TO ANSWER IT.

[NC]: so that's a yes then.

[CG]: NO, IT'S A MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS THEN.

ectoBologist [EB] began pestering narratorChick [NC] and carcinoGenecist [CG]

[CG]: OH SHIT.

[NC]: oh, um… hey john. did you um, read all that?

[EB]: uh, yeah, i did and i wanted to uh, talk. to karkat

[CG]: WHY ME? SHE FUCKING WROTE THE THING…

[EB]: well, it's not really about that…

[CG]: WHAT'S IT ABOUT THEN? AND WAIT. WHAT ABOUT YOUR WHOLE "I'M NOT A HOMOSEXUAL BLUH BLUH"

[EB]: yeah, i know. but, i think… i might have been wrong?

[CG]: UH. OKAY.

[EB]: yeah, and i wanted to talk to you about it. because i think i might, well, like you.

[CG]: WAIT. IS THIS A PRANK? IS THIS YOU FUCKING WITH MY HEAD? ARE YOU AND HER IN CAHOOTS IN FUCKING WITH MY FEELINGS NOW?

[EB]: no! no! i'm being serious, I swear

[CG]: … REALLY?

[EB]: yes, really.

[CG]: WHAT MADE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND?

[EB]: well, i was reading the story, and, well… can we talk about this privately? like, face to face?

[CG]: UH, YEAH. SURE, OKAY. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

[EB]: okay, i'll wait.

carcinoGenecist [CG] ceased trolling narratorChick [NC] and ectoBiologist [EB]

ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering narratorChick [NC]

[NC]: …

[NC]: 0_0

[NC]: oh my gosh…

narratorChick [NC] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

[NC]: dave! dave! dave!

[NC]: DAVE!

[NC]: da-ave!

[NC]: dang it, you're with terezi, aren't you? no wait, terezi's here…

[NC]: …

narratorChick [NC] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

narratorChick [NC] began pestering twinArmegeddons [TA]

[NC]: sollux?

[TA]: ye2?

[NC]: uhh… is dave with you?

[TA]: he ii2. why?

[NC]: i pestered him and he didn't answer me! . can you tell him to answer me?

[TA]: why? what happened?

[NC]: well, i finally unbanned karkles and he was all "bluh bluh i yell cause i'm insecure" and then john stared talking and he wanted to talk to karkat about maybe possibly liking him but i have to keep narrating so i wanted to ask dave if he would record the fluff for me!

[TA]: are you 2eriiou2?

[NC]: like the plague.

[TA]: don't worry. he'll record iit.

[NC]: you're sure?

[TA]: ye2. cau2e ii wouldn't fuckiin mii22 thii2. do you know what an a22 KK iis goiing to make of hiim2elf?

[NC]: X3 thank you

[TA]: 2ure.

narratorChick [NC] ceased pestering twinArmageddons [TA]

Okay, so, where was I? Oh, yeah…

===== Earlier that night

Eridan did not think staying in a room with Terezi and Nepeta would be too awful…

He was wrong. Horribly, terribly wrong.

First, he was subjected to impeccable grooming. Both Terezi and Nepeta were insistent upon it; they forced him to sit on the floor as they sat on the bed. They messed with his hair, doing this and that and putting small ponytails in everywhere until the mayor had become fed up and tore them all out. To which the women responded by repeating the process. After that, the mayor found himself subjected to the phenomena known as, and he winced, girl talk. Seemingly endless blathering on about clothes and hair and men, oh for the love of god, why did he have to sit and listen through this drabble? He felt as if he should bang his head against the wall, if only to block out the incessant pounding of his growing migraine. Except he couldn't, because the two very insistent women had forced him to sit between them on the bed, and thus he was caught in the crossfire of their jabbering. Idly, he wondered if he could manage to get Terezi's gun from her… no, too messy. Perhaps one of the pillows could block out the babbling, but that would be obvious. He wanted to scream. But he didn't; and finally, the godforsaken conversation was over and Eridan made to move to the floor for sleep. Terezi and Nepeta, however, had slightly different plans. The woman jumped him, both curling against either side of him, causing him to blush deep violet and struggle against them. However, after several vain attempts, Eridan resigned himself to his fate and laid stiffly between the two as Terezi blew out the light.

It was much later that while the two women were asleep, Eridan was still awake, and still stiff, though he had relaxed some from when he'd first found himself in this situation. Nepeta had curled around his right arm like a cat; Terezi had one arm wrapped around his left arm, and the other splayed on his waist. The mayor flinched when he heard a whimper, then peeked down at the sheriff's face. Her brows were drawn, and her mouth seemed to wobble a bit. Eridan stared in shock; in her sleep, Terezi's grip tightened around his arm and waist, and she pressed closer. Eridan was too shocked to remember to blush. With care, he untangled his arm from Nepeta, then reached out… and stopped.

Eridan bit his lower lip. He wasn't sure what the protocol for this situation. Then he sighed and gently ran his hand over Terezi's hair. She pushed into the touch, and the mayor continued, cooeing comforting noises by instinct. Then the sheriff turned her face, and Eridan froze as he accidentally caressed her cheek.

This time he did blush. The mayor looked down at Terezi's face; now serene. Glasses gone, carefully placed on the bedside table. Eridan bit his lower lip; she was beautiful, truly; strong, independent and beautiful. The mayor shifted his hand to run his fingers down the side of her cheek. His breathe caught and eyes half closed as she sighed, the ghost of a smile on her lips. Then Eridan looked down, and took his hand back. He turned his face away; he hadn't realized he'd turned towards the sheriff. He replaced his arm in Nepeta's grip as carefully as he had removed it. He looked up at the ceiling, a mournful look in his half mast eyes. It wasn't long before he managed to drift off to sleep.

Terezi shifted to push up on her elbows the moment she knew Eridan fell asleep. She smiled softly; she had woken up due to Eridan's somewhat clumsy attempts at comfort. She pushed up, kissing the mayor's cheek with a whispered 'thank you'. The she rested her head on his shoulder, curling against him again before returning to her own dreams.

===== Earlier that night (again)

The first order of business was for both Gamzee and Tavros to clean up. Fortunately, the Mother's Touch Inn was quite a respectable facility, and featured an attached bath to the room. There wasn't anything to be done with the blood stained clothes, so they ended rumpled in the corner and would be disposed of later.

For now, however, Gamzee leaned against the back of the tub, neck resting on the lip. He'd already cleaned himself of blood, dirt and paint, and had elected to soak, relaxing for the first time in days. And Tavros, after so many weeks locked in a cell, was also in need of a good scrubbing, and once this was seen to, he sat leaning against Gamzee. The latter had his arms wrapped loosely around his matesprite's waist, enjoying the intimacy he'd been lacking. He buried his nose in the still damp mohawk, ignoring the tickling sensation as he breathed in the scent of soap and Tavros. He was back; thank the stars he was back. And yet….

Gamzee's eyes slid open a crack. They were thinking, tossing around recent event. He had promised Tavros he would protect him, that he would keep him safe from the world he grew up in.

And he failed.

Gamzee sighed softly, then closed his eyes as he breathed in again. He wasn't going to let it happen again; never. But it was clear that something needed to change; there had to be a way to take Tavros even further away from his past. And Gamzee's eyes opened again. He had it.

"Tav," he said. Tavros gave a little groan, as if coming back from the edge of sleep.

"Ye-yeah?" he asked. Gamzee smiled, shifting his weight a little and making the water ripple away from them.

"I think… we should leave Alternia City," he said. Tavros flinched, then after a moment relaxed, sinking back into Gamzee.

"Yeah, I, uh, think that would be a good idea," he said. Gamzee nodded, causing Tavros's hair to shift as the wet strands stuck to his cheeks.

"We can go to Veiltown; it's nice there," he said. Tavros smiled.

"It doesn't matter where we go," he said. Gamzee smiled, lacing one of his hands into Tavros's beneath the water. Tavros pulled away from him, then twisted around to kiss him. It was soft and full, and Tavros pulled away blushing lightly, but smiling. Gamzee smiled back at him, then pushed up to kiss his matesprite's forehead.

"We should probably get out of the bath, huh?" he asked, and Tavros laughed a little before agreeing.

===== Veiltown, the following noon

"Jade, could I ask a favor of you?" Kanaya asked. Jade looked up from unloading a tray of empty mugs.

"Of course! What is it?" she asked, smiling. Kanaya smiled bemusedly back, holding out a basket.

"Well, in the absence of Nepeta, it has come to my attention that Equius finds himself far too occupied to recall the midday meal, and would be most grateful to you if you would be so kind as to deliver this basket of victuals to him," she said. Jade took the basket perhaps a bit more eagerly than usual, but with her cheerful disposition, it was hard to tell.

"Of course! Be back soon!" she said, half skipping to the door.

"Take your time," Kanaya called after her, smiling. She turned to the soiled cups, rather pleased with her handiwork as she set to work cleaning.

Jade made quick work of the distance between the saloon and smithy, and peeked inside the wide doors. Equius was, as expected, focused on his work. He was crafting the barrel for a rifle, and at the moment had dunked the red hot metal in a tub of now steaming water. After a few moments, he pulled it out again, and brought it over to his workbench. Placing his tongs to the side, he grabbed a towel from nearby to dry off his work. Jade found this to be an opportune moment to enter.

"Hi Equius!" she said, making the strong troll jump and turn. He smiled.

"Oh, hello, Jade; I was not expecting you," Equius said, using the towel to wipe his brow and dab down his face. Jade giggled, then brought over the basket.

"Kanaya asked me to bring this to you," she said, holding the basket out. Equius took it carefully, clearing part of the workbench to set it down.

"I will have to remember to express my gratitude to her at a later time," he said, removing the cloth cover. As he examined the contents of the basket, he appeared surprised. Jade tilted her head.

"Is something wrong?" she asked. Equius flinched, then smiled and grabbed a towel as he started sweating again.

"Oh, no, it is simply that," and he stepped aside to allow Jade to look at the basket, "this is a meal for two."

Jade stared a minute, then giggled and looked up at Equius. The troll caught his breathe at the way she smiled up at him, a merry twinkle in her eye.

"Well, I would be happy to share the noon day meal with you; if that's alright," she said. Equius grabbed a new towel and looked away.

"I-it would be perfectly acceptable to me," he said, wiping his brow again. Jade giggled, then took hold of the basket.

"Come on, let's get out of this dusty shop and sit outside," she said. Equius blushed, then thought of something.

"I will be there shortly," he said, turning as he went outside. He used the attached stairway to get to the upper living area, and it was a matter of a few moments to find what he was looking for.

Outside, Jade stood, humming while she waited. She turned as Equius reappeared, something bundled in his arms. Before she had a chance to ask, the blacksmith took and threw it out. It flapped loudly, and Equius laid the plain blue blanket out. Jade giggled, and sat on the edge of the blanket. She and Equius both removed their boots, and Equius his blacksmith's smock. And they sat in the middle of the blanket, Jade with her legs tucked under her and Equius cross-legged as they shared dinner.

Kanaya had made a meal of simple fair; cold meat sandwiches, fruit and a cherry pie. For those of simpler hearts, it was more than sufficient. In good company, it was a feast of high order. Jade and Equius had a grand time as they commenced in their meal; they began and animated conversation as they sat under the dry sun. Jade was giggling, and Equius blushed as he smiled. Dave Strider happened to pass them, and nodded to Jade's wave as he went.

The interim sheriff strolled down the dirt road, a hand on the pistol at his side. He swung into the saloon, pushing open the door with one hand. He tipped his hat to Kanaya and waltzed over to the piano, greeting Sollux with a kiss on the cheek.

"Maryam won the betting pool," Strider said, sitting on one end of the piano. He rested his arm on the side, leaning back.

"Thhe uthually doeth," Sollux said. Dave had on his typical poker face as he scanned the few patrons scattered around the various tables.

"I know," he said. Sollux snorted softly, but smiled a bit.

"Tho you alwayth bid againtht her to be ironic," he said. For a moment, nothing happened; then Dave smirked.

"Something like that," he said. At the bar, Aradia smiled as she looked on. She had stopped by to retrieve a package; the saloon received all mail that came into Veiltown.

"Wasn't there a betting pool to determine whether anyone could break Dave's poker face?" she asked. Kanaya was smiling as she handed over the brown wrapped package.

"Yes, indeed there was," she said.

===== That night

Due to the lack of a replacement, Sollux often didn't return to his room until late. And, often as not, Dave would purposefully prowl the town until well after Sollux had returned to his apartment. Tonight, however, as Sollux pushed the door to his bedroom open, he found Strider had beat him there.

Dave looked up when Sollux entered. He'd already taken off his sunglasses and hat, as well as his boots and shirt as he sat on the edge of the bed. He ran a hand thru his hair, but didn't say anything. Sollux waited, removing his vest and shirt, then his shoes, setting his dual tinted shades on the side table, next to Dave's. Then he stood in front of the outlaw; ever patient. Dave took a quiet breath, then set his hands on Sollux's hips, lightly resting his forehead on the troll's stomach. The pianist quirked a brow, but said nothing.

"Fuck," Dave said under his breath. Sollux sighed, then shifted gently out of Dave's grip to sink down to his knees. He ran a hand thru Dave's hair, his other hand resting on the outlaw's knee. The troll put his forehead against Dave's, looking straight into his eyes.

"You don't have to forthe yourthelf," Sollux said. "I can wait."

"I… I want to be able to do this; I should be able to do this," Dave said. Sollux rubbed his thumb against the interim sheriff's temple, and Dave closed his eyes. He sighed softly. Sollux tilted his head to press his lips to Dave's, then slowly let his hand slide up the outlaw's thigh. Dave made a small breathy noise, then closed his eyes tighter as he began shaking a bit. Sollux stopped his hand half way up, rubbing his thumb into the muscle there. Dave made a noise akin to a sigh, leaning into the kiss as he put his hand on top of Sollux's. He gently guided the troll forward, but stopped as he got close. The two broke the kiss, panting shallowly.

Dave was blushing lightly, and Sollux opened his eyes to look at him. After a moment, he stood to push Dave back, climbing gently on top of him without moving the hand on his thigh. Dave was watching him closely, looking a little worried. Sollux let his eyes travel over his matesprite, then leaned by his ear.

"Tell me when to thop," he whispered, and Dave took in a breath as Sollux ran his hand up the rest of the way to his crotch. Dave bit his lip, eyes going half mast as Sollux palmed him through his pants, rubbing with medium pressure. The outlaw moaned lightly as he began growing hard under the ministrations, wrapping an arm around the troll's shoulder, and lacing his other hand into the short black hair at his nape.

Dave pressed his forehead into Sollux's shoulder, keeping a tight rein on his shaking as the troll continued. Sollux began adding more pressure, feeling the outlaw's length through the rough clothes. The troll bit his lip, debating. He paused and lifted his hand, then slid it beneath the hem of Dave's clothes. The outlaw pressed his lips to Sollux's collarbone, but lost control of his quivers as he squeezed his eyes shut. Sollux waited a moment, then sighed and sat back. Dave blinked in surprise.

"What-?" he asked. He was still panting as he sat up, blushing.

"You aren't ready for thith," Sollux said. Dave's face reddened more with embarrassment, though he tried to hide it with his indignity.

"I didn't say-"

"Dave," Sollux said, staring him down. Dave opened his mouth to reply again, then shut it. Finally he looked away, bringing his knees to his chest.

"I don't understand; it's just sex," he said. Sollux rolled his eyes. He brushed Dave's bangs out of his hair, pulling him closer by wrapping an arm around his waist.

"We went over thith, cool kid," he said, pressing his nose into the outlaw's soft hair. Dave sighed, leaning into the touch.

"Doesn't make it easier," he mumbled, drifting off a bit after the excitement wore down. Sollux hummed as he breathed in, closing his eyes.

"Yeah, I know," he said. And, though he knew Dave had drifted off, he added softly. "But thith ith more than enough for me."

===== Veiltown, the next day

The routine between Jade and Equius went smoothly as it had before; in fact, more so than it had. In the morning they spoke over coffee, a quaint, quiet conversation to start the day, then went to their respective jobs. At noon Jade arrived with a meal, and Equius had already brought down the blanket in anticipation of this event. They shared half the day's events, talking and laughing in turns as was appropriate to the topic. After this, they once again returned to their work. In the evening, Equius washed up before making his way to the saloon, where Jade would talk with him when she had a free moment. Such as now.

"Have you ever heard Dave and Sollux play together?" Jade asked, looking over as Dave sat on the piano bench next the troll. Equius gave them a cursory glance.

"I cannot say that I have," he said, returning his gaze to Jade. The young woman was leaning back against the bar, watching for those who required her assistance. She smiled, turning her gaze to Equius.

"It's really pretty! I wish they would do it more often," she said. Equius smiled, looking away as he blushed and pulled out a mostly clean rag. "It makes me want to dance!"

"Ah, Nepeta also enjoys exerting herself in that way," the blacksmith said. Jade looked at him a moment, then gasped.

"Equius, do you not know how to dance?" she asked. Equius flinched, and wouldn't meet Jade's eyes as he dabbed his face more fervently.

"Well, I never experienced a time in which I felt a true need to do so," he said. Jade bit her lip, then set her tray down.

"Rose, can I have some time?" she asked. Rose looked over from the other end of the bar. She took in the situation a moment, then smiled cryptically and nodded.

"Is something wrong?" Equius asked, confused. Jade smiled, but looked determined.

"Come on," she said, tugging at one of the troll's arms. Equius allowed her to lead him, only realizing her intentions when they reached the other dancers.

"Jade, I do not believe this is entirely appropriate…" he started, but Jade's laugh cut him off.

"Relax, Equius; it's just dancing," she said.

"Huh. Well, I'll be," Dave said. Sollux quirked a brow, looking at him sidelong. "Harley is teaching Eq to dance."

It was interesting to watch, to say the least. Fortunately, though Equius was slow to follow the movements and stiff in his execution, Jade was a patient teacher; gently guiding him through small corrections and approving smiles. Equius was blushing, allowing Jade to have her way as she taught him how to swing. In no time, Equius had gotten a handel on the dance, able to perform the basic steps with relative ease. Jade laughed, clearly enjoying herself as they danced, and the blacksmith smiled. Compared to him, Jade seemed soft and delicate; the small pale hand she put in his was soundly dwarfed, and where she was slender he was heavy and built. And yet, stepping their way around the dance floor, they complimented each other; Jade's skirt swirling as Equius spun her out, then again as she returned to the first position. Dave smirked.

"What? Ith Equiuth really that bad?" Sollux asked. Dave stood, then turned to sit next to the pianist, facing the piano.

"Mind if we play something slow?" he asked, resting his fingers lightly on the keys. Sollux snorted softly.

"Thankth for anthwering me, fuckath," he said, though he did begin a more relaxed tempo.

"How's that one thing go again? One, two, three, one, two, three…" Dave said, joining in the playing. Sollux quirked a brow at him.

"You want to play a waltz?" he said, looking over his shoulder. Seeing Jade and Equius, he smirked as well. "Oh, I thee."

"Well, it would seem that this dance has concluded," Equius said, blushing as he wiped at his brow. Jade giggled. Without a word, she replaced Equius's hand on her hip, and slipped her hand into his.

"This is called a waltz; follow my lead," she said. Equius nodded mutely, still blushing as he did as he was bid. Jade moved a bit closer to him, so that their bodies were touching. Equius gulped, beginning to take the lead as the song continued, the strange harmony pulling him along.

When the song was over and the next one, a rollicking fast tune, began, Jade and Equius remained still a moment. Jade shifted her head to look up at the blacksmith, and Equius looked back at her. Then Jade smiled and pushed up on her tiptoes to give Equius a small, chaste kiss.

"Thanks for the dance," she said, blushing madly before turning away, giggling. Equius stood in shock; then the blush slowly crept back on to his face, deepening until his entire face was brilliant sapphire. He cleared his throat, unable to keep a smile off his face as he quietly returned to the bar, sitting down as his eyes wandered to watch Jade.

"That was a very well executed move; don't you agree?" Rose asked, smiling bemusedly. Equius barely heard her.

"Uh huh," he said. Jade noticed his gaze, blushing again and smiling as she moved on to another table.

"I'm sure John will approve," Rose continued, walking away to attend to another patron. Equius flinched.

"Oh… oh dear…" the blacksmith said, beginning to sweat anew.

===== One day's ride outside Veiltown, same time

"Looks like we'll beach town by tomorrow ewening," Eridan said. He and Terezi were sitting on opposite sides of the fire. The sheriff nodded.

"I'm sure you're excited to get back," she grinned. "After all the fuss with Scratch."

"The man's a charleton," Eridan sneered. "He's thinks he's a mirmackerlaous omnipotent-"

"Omniscient," Terezi said. Eridan waved a hand.

"Whatewer; he just gets under my gills," the mayor said. Terezi chuckled, and silence fell. The fire crackled into the velvet night sky, brilliant with thousands upon thousands stars. The light played on the gray skin of the two trolls, and Eridan's eyes flicked up to watch the dancing orange glow on Terezi's face.

"I can smell you staring, Eri," Terezi said at a length, chuckling as the mayor blushed and looked away. Eridan bit his lip, then looked back.

"Was it really that bad? Leawing Strider, I mean," he asked. Terezi's grin dropped. She sighed, her sightless gaze piercing into the fire.

"I thought… heheh, I thought we were matesprites," she said. Eridan opened his mouth, then shut it, watching Terezi. "I guess that's not right. I knew Strider didn't feel the same way I did, but…"

"It still hurts," Eridan said. He was all too familiar with the situation; in fact, it was the only one he knew. Terezi snorted, and stood. Eridan watched as she walked over, plopping down next to him. They didn't say anything for a while, and the mayor slowly became less aware of the sheriff's presence next to him.

"I was awake. The night before we left," she said. Eridan stiffened, a purple blush spreading across his face cheeks.

"Oh… I…" he started. Terezi gently placed her hand over one of his, and gave it a small squeeze.

"Thank you," she said. Eridan's blush grew a deeper violet as he kept his eyes trained on the fire. Terezi cackled. "You know, you're not as bad as I thought you were, Eri. Grumpy and a bit of a stiff, but not bad."

"Thank you?" Eridan asked, feeling a bit indignant. Terezi cackled again, resting her head on the mayor's shoulder. Eridan shifted, clearing his throat as he blushed again.

"Heheh, you really aren't used to people touching you, are you?" Terezi asked. Eridan glanced at her before looking away.

"People usually avoid me like a jellyfish," he said. There was a tinge of bitterness in his voice, but most of it was just sad. Terezi sighed, shifting her weight against Eridan's side.

"It's because you try too hard; you just have to lay off a bit," she said. Eridan snorted.

"Shrimple for you to say; you makeral friends so easily," he said. Terezi laughed, pulling away. Eridan blinked and stared in shock. "What? What did I say?"

"Heheh, Eri, just because people don't hate me it doesn't mean we're friends," she said. "In fact, the only people I would say are my friends are John and Nepeta."

"But… what about the rest of the staff of the sea-loon?" Eridan asked. Terezi waved a hand dismissively.

"We're friendly, but we don't know each other all that well," she said. Eridan looked away, then sighed.

"My grandfather floundered Weiltown; that's why I'm the mayor," he said. "But he was an elitist. He raised my father to look down on eweryone, and then he raised me that way. I was only allowed near Fef; no one else was good enough. And… I fell for her; hook, line and sinker. But she didn't feel the same way, and when I confessed, she turned me down. What could I do? According to my father, there was no one that was worthy of being my matesprite. I was going to be alone… forewer."

"So what happened?" Terezi said, feigning disinterest as she laid back. Eridan snorted.

"Well, my father swam off somewhere and I hawen't heard from him since. So I started looking for a kismesis, since it could hawe been anyone, especially lowerbloods. That was around the time Jack Noir showed up; and I was desperate enough to hate someone that… I let him hawe his way. By the time I reelized what I'd done, it was too late. Jack had become the big fish in a little pond, and I couldn't… or wouldn't, stop him," the mayor said. Terezi sat up on her elbows.

"Then I showed up," she said, prompting him along. Eridan chuckled bitterly.

"Yeah, then you showed up, getting kelp from the Striders and Bro's gang to take care of Noir. And when I saw you, a teal blood, in an open flushed relationship… it blew my thinkpan right out of the water. And I started thinking that maybe I didn't hawe to hawe a flushed romance with a purple blood. Maybe lower bloods weren't so bad," the mayor sighed. "I didn't know how to start a flushed relationship. I still don't; it's why I'm the wave I am. I just… I don't want to be alone."

Terezi stared as well as a blind woman could. She had never heard Eridan being so… vulnerable. The sheriff was accustomed to people putting up walls against her; in fact, it was a hazard of the job. Even Strider had kept walls between them, and Terezi had just accepted this as a fact of life. That we were all guarded, and you didn't let that guard down no matter who you were with. Of course, as her moirail, John was an exception to the rule, but John was generally an exception to the rule in the first place. However, this wasn't about John. This was about Eridan, a troll at least as guarded as Terezi was, laying himself bare before her. Terezi sat up.

"… heheh, I know what you mean," she said, and Eridan's grunt of acknowledgement was the last exchange made between them that night.

===== Veiltown, the next day

"You… what?" Kanaya asked.

"Have I made an error in my judgment? I have excessive doubt over the subject, yet I could not manage to reason a more exclusively correct conclusion," Equius said, wiping his forehead with a rag. He had a wrapped bundle in his hands, roughly rectangular in shape. Kanaya was staring at him a moment more a small smile crept on to her face.

"So, what you are saying, is that you wish to bestow a present that you constructed upon Jade, but are uncertain of the reception said present will receive," she asked. Equius began sweating more profusely.

"Yes, that is exactly what I was saying," he said. "I came here on the day that Jade offers her aide to the stablemaid in hopes that you might assist me in ascertaining the correctness of my intended gift."

"Equius, I believe that Jade will enjoy whatever gift you would wish to present to her," Kanaya said. Equius chuckled nervously.

"I do not have faith in such a gross assumption, however, as the record would show your gross assumptions, no matter how depraved, all seem to also be true. I will put my faith in your good judgment," the blacksmith said. Kanaya smiled.

"Thank you for your high opinion, and best wishes in your venture," she said. Equius smiled and nodded, then turned out the door. Sollux looked around the piano after him.

"You know it'th probably thomething thupid, right?" he called out to Kanaya. The woman ignored him, humming to herself as she found a menial task to attend to.

Equius strode purposefully to the stables. He was still nervous, yes, but Kanaya had given him enough confidence to go through with giving his present, at least. He paused, looking in the open barn doors. Jade was brushing down, of all the hoofbeasts, Equius's large, sturdy stallion, Arthour.

"Jade, I believe you have a visitor," Aradia said from where she was pitching hay down from the loft to the ground. Jade looked up at Aradia before turning to look outside. She was blinded by the light a moment, squinting until the tall silhouette turned into Equius. Then she smiled and blushed, playing with her hair as she walked over.

"Oh, um, hi Equius," she said. Equius smiled, but his doubts returned in full force as she spoke.

"Hello, I… well, I found myself of a disposition to… I thought it would be acceptable if I… this is a gift for you, please accept it," he said, holding out the wrapped bundle and biting his lip. Jade looked in surprise, taking the bundle and nearly dropping it due to the unexpected weight. Glancing at Equius, she slowly unwrapped the cloth. As it fell to the ground, she gasped.

Gleaming in the sunshine was the double barrel of a rifle. It was lighter than a regular rifle, but still had a good balance to it. Jade held the rifle awe, shifting it in her hands before holding it up and sighting down the barrel. It wasn't an ornate weapon, but the quality was evident in the craftsmanship. Equius cleared his throat.

"It is… acceptable?" he asked, dabbing at the side of his face. Jade let the weapon down, then grinned before half tackling Equius though he kept his feet, landing a kiss in the process. The blacksmith was bewildered, albeit happy, as he looked down into Jade's smiling face.

"I love it! Thank you," she said. Equius felt sweat beading on his brow as he let his hands rest gently on Jade's waist, reveling in the moment.

"It was my pleasure," he said.

"Well, why don't you go and learn how to use it?" Aradia said, climbing down from the loft. Jade grinned at her.

"Really?" she asked. Aradia smiled and nodded, and soon Jade was dragging Equius off after thanks were offered from both parties. The stable woman chuckled to herself, then returned to pitching hay into the stalls.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering narratorChick [NC]

TG: hey

TG: got the tape you wanted

NC: really! you're my hero, man, seriously!

TG: it's cool

TG: i know no lady can resist the pull of a Strider

TG: it's a physical impossibility

NC: …

NC: dude

NC: you're talking to a chick writing gay smut

NC: some of it being about you

TG: and?

NC: … true.

NC: it just seemed strange that you think i'm attracted to you when i'm writing you in a pairing with sollux

NC: I guess…

TG: so? you're writing the hipster fish in a pairing with terezi

NC: what do you mean?

TG: …

TG: you're kidding, right?

TG: the chick who ships better than nepeta

TG: doesn't have the easiest one figured out?

NC: still don't see the correlation

carcinoGenecist [CG] began trolling narratorChick [NC] and turntechGodhead [TG]

CG: OH MY FUCKING GOG I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU RECORDED THAT SHIT

CG: I COULD UNDERSTAND IF IT WERE ANYTHING BUCKET RELATED FOR A SICK FUCK LIKE YOU

CG: BUT WE WERE JUST FUCKING TALKING

NC: hi karkat

CG: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE

NC: what do you mean?

CG: YOU CALLED ME KARKAT

NC: it is your name

CG: WELL OBVIOUSLY, FUCKASS

CG: BUT YOU NEVER CALL ME KARKAT

CG: IT'S ALWAYS FUCKING KARKLES

CG: AND I CAN SEE YOU BLUSHING OVER THERE

CG: SO WHAT

CG: THE FUCK

CG: HAPPENED

TG: whoa dude, she's blushing?

TG: guess you do know then

CG: OH, SO THIS IS YOUR FAULT

CG: I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN

CG: SINCE FUCKING EVERYTHING IS

TG: hey dude, back off with the black flirting

TG: wouldn't want egderp seeing you all up in my junk

CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP

CG: I HATE YOU FUCKING PLATONICALLY

NC: boys, boys, settle down!

NC: there's nothing going on, really

CG: …

CG: FUCK IT

NC: what do you

NC: sOrRy, ShE'lL bE bAcK iN a MoThErFuCkInG mInUtE

NC: KaRkAt JuSt DrAgGeD hEr AwAy AnD sHiT

NC: wOn'T tAkE tOo LoNg

carcinoGenecist [CG] ceased trolling narratorChick [NC] and turntechGodhead [TG]

TG: what was that about?

NC: nothing.

TG: i can respect that

TG: i can also refuse to give you this tape you wanted

NC: … gog darn you strider…

TG: ball's in your court

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering narratorChick [NC]

Alright, let's dive back in here…

===== That evening

"And then I shot them all!" Jade said, grinning at Rose as she loaded up her tray.

"She's a natural," Equius said, blushing. Jade flashed him a grin before swirling away to serve drinks. Rose smiled bemusedly.

"Only you would think to present a young woman with a rifle, Equius," she said. Equius dabbed at the sweat on his forehead.

"I am exceptionally happy to believe that this is true," he said, grinning. Rose shook her head smally, then returned to her bar duties. Equius turned to look out at the saloon.

centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling narratorChick [NC]

NC: hi equius…

CT: D - I'm trying to refrain from reading this l00d memo

CT: D - The depravity is… e%ceptional

NC: thanks, eq.

NC: do you possibly need a towel?

CT: D - …

CT: D - I might

gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering narratorChick [NC] and centaursTesticle [CT]

NC: hi… jade…

GG: don't worry! i'm not mad or anything! =)

NC: yeah, i know, sorry

NC: just had a talk with karkat

NC: and dave is holding fluff footage hostage

GG: oh noes! D8

NC: i'll just have to come clean and talk with him…

CT: D - What depraved enterprise have you embarked upon now?

GG: she had dave record john and karkat confessing

GG: but it looks like dave is being a meanie and not letting her see 8(

CT: D - I find that to be e%tremely inappropriate

NC: dave or the tape?

CT: D - Both sound depraved

NC: naw; the tape is just fluff

CT: D - Fluff?

GG: you know, just kisses and hugs and being sweet! 8)

CT: D - Oh, I see

CT: D - I think I need

CT: D - a towel

GG: because of fluff? o.O

NC: just roll with it, dearling

GG: if you say so…

GG: oh, i was coming to ask…

GG: what's going to happen with story jade and equius? 8)

NC: d'uhh…

GG: it's okay. 8) you don't have to be shy. right equius?

CT: D - I find it only proper to agree with you

CT: D - Not that I am at all e%cited to know what happens

CT: D - Between my story self and miss Jade's.

NC: well, um…

NC: it's a surprise

GG: aw, okay 8)

GG: did you know nepeta started a weststuck shipping wall? 8D

CT: D - That is e%ceptionally depraved

NC: omg that's awesome! XD

CT: D - I think I need a towel…

GG: yeah! 8D

GG: she wants you to come see it sometime

NC: oh yeah, sure thing

arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling narratorChick [NC], centaursTesticle [CT] and gardenGnostic [GG]

NC: speak of the devil

AC: :33 *ac tilts her head*

AC: :33 *ac asks what devil?*

NC: it's a turn of phrase

NC: we were just talking about you

NC: and your new shipping wall X3

AC: :33 oh, i see X3

AC: :33 i mean, *ac says i see and grins*

CT: D - I feel this conversation is about to become more e%ceptionally depraved

NC: probably

AC: :33 aw, don't be like that!

NC: you know you love it, eq X3

NC: now get a nice pile of towels and buckle up

NC: cause even if you sign out, I know you'll read all this

CT: D - You are e%ponentially depraved

centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling narratorChick [NC], gardenGnostic [GC], and arsenicCatnip [AC]

GG: do you really think he's reading?

NC: oh yeah

NC: he so is

AC: :33 *ac stands heroically*

AC: :33 *she tells you you shouldn't tease her meowrail like that*

NC: aw, okay, i'm sorry

NC: it's just too easy 3

AC: :33 hey!

AC: :33 *ac paws you smiling*

NC: X3

GG: are you really not going to say anything about story jade and equius?

NC: nope; or any other pairings

AC: :33 *ac grins*

AC: :33 *she asks if we can talk about real pawrings then*

AC: :33 *like the one you and karkitty discussed?* X3

NC: no

NC: heck no

GG: what? what pairing?

NC: don't worry about it

AC: :33*ac says she'll show you on her shipping wall*

NC: nepeta…

NC: please

NC: don't tell me

NC: it's already there?

AC: :33 meowby…

NC: NEPETA! .

AC: :33 *ac says sorry, too late now*

arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling narratorChick [NC] and gardenGnostic [GG]

NC: …

NC: jade…

NC: just go look at the darn wall

GG: uh, okay? 8(

gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering narratorChick [NC]

Sollux was in his usual place at the piano; Dave had yet to make an appearance, but he would eventually. And, as the door swung open, letting in a breeze of cool air…

In strolled Bro Strider, Dave a beat behind. Bro had his arm in a sling, but everyone stopped to look as he walked across, leaning on the piano. He said something quietly to Sollux, who glanced at Dave before nodding. Then the troll and Bro walked outside, Dave being forced to take Sollux place at the piano.

twinArmegeddons [TA] started trolling narratorChick [NC]

NC: oh great googly moogly!

TA: what the fuck ii2 up your nook?

NC: I just got double trolled

NC: twiice

TA: …

TA: are you mockiing me?

NC: naw

NC: it was ironic

NC: not strider ironic

NC: real ironic

TA: okay

TA: 2tiil 2eem2 liike mockiing two me

NC: maybe

NC: i'm a little off put right now…

TA: why'2 that?

TA: and why aren't you biitchiing two eriidan about iit?

NC: it's kind of about eridan…

TA: 2eriiou2ly?

NC: seriously.

TA: hold on, kk'2 buggiing me

NC: go talk to him

NC: but i deny everything!

TA: that'2 pretty defen2iive you know

TA: not liike everyone doe2n't know already…

NC: good bye sollux T_T

TA: what, ju2t beiing hone2t

twinArmegeddons [TA] ceased pestering narratorChick [NC]

Now, if I don't get interrupted again…

Dave kept looking passed the piano at the door; though his poker face remained intact, it was easy to see he was nervous. Activity resumed in the saloon, and Jade stopped by to ask Dave what was wrong.

"Wrong? Nothing's wrong, babe. Bro just though he should meet the guy giving his lil' bro a major boner is all, why would anything be wrong with this picture? There isn't anything wrong with it. It's a perfect picture; flash powder sparkled and it's worth a thousand damn words, no, two thousand damn words, since it's Sollux," Dave said.

"I'm sure it'll be okay," Jade said, giving the interim sheriff's shoulder a light squeeze before moving on. Dave grunted in response, continuing his playing while trying (and failing) not to look at the door. After a few more minutes, Sollux pushed the door open, one hand covering his bleeding nose. Dave was across the room in a heartbeat, moving Sollux's hand to assess the damage as the troll fixed his askew shades.

"What happened?" Dave asked, letting Sollux wipe at the mustard colored blood on his chin.

"He decked me," the troll said. Then he smirked. "Then he thaid to tell you to man up." Dave snorted.

"Of course he did. But that was it? He wasn't… mad, or anything?" he asked. Sollux's eyebrow quirked.

"Doeth it matter?" he asked. Dave took a step back, crossing his arms.

"He's my Bro. Of course it matters," he said. "Not that it would make me change my mind and shit; but hell, he did raise me."

"Hunh," Sollux said.

"What?" Dave asked. Sollux smiled.

"Nothing. You jutht thurprithed me, ith all," he said, leaning forward and kissing Dave's nose. "No, he wathn't mad."

"Oh, well, good, I guess," Dave said, rubbing the tip of his nose, blushing slightly. He shifted his weight, regaining his composure as Rose walked up to them.

"So, am I to assume I will be without a pianist for this evening?" she asked, raising a brow.

"Heheh, assume nothing of the sort, Lalonde."

The group turned as Terezi pushed through the doors. The sheriff was grinning, sauntering over with Eridan, John, Karkat and Nepeta behind her.

"You're back!" Jade said, appearing out of nowhere to tackle hug her brother, pushing him a step back. Sollux clapped Karkat on the shoulder as John laughed, and Nepeta scampered off in search of Equius.

"Yeah; and I'd be happy to play if you need me too," he said, grinning at Rose. Rose smiled back.

"Then give me a fucking key to your room; I'm fucking tired," Karkat said, holding out his hand. John did as requested, digging in his pocket as Jade let him go.

"Are you certain you are not too weary to play, John?" Rose asked as John handed over the key. John smiled at her.

"Nope, I'm kind of tired, but I can handel it," he said. By this point, more people had come to greet the returnees, inquiring after their trip and apparent success. Karkat put a hand on John's arm as the other turned to head to the piano.

"Don't… push yourself, okay?" the troll said, cheeks red tinted. John smiled, pulling Karkat closer to give him a quick kiss before pulling away.

"Of course!" he said. Karkat grumbled something in response, but let John walk away to begin playing a rousing refrain.

"Well, good to thee you're okay, fuckath," Sollux said, smirking. Karkat glared.

"Whatever. I'm going to bed," he said, putting his hands in his pockets as he walked away.

"Thure you'll be able to thleep alone?" Sollux jeered. Karkat flipped him the bird over his shoulder, too tired to rise to the bait. Sollux flinched in surprise as an arm snaked its way around his waist. He turned his head to look at Dave. The outlaw was looking away, face unreadable.

"Come on; we should get you cleaned up," he said. Sollux snorted, wrapping an arm around the human's shoulders as they headed for the stairs.

"Let me gueth, you can't thleep alone either?" he asked.

"Not a chance," Dave smirked. From across the room, Terezi still grinned as she watched them. It was clear to someone who knew her, however, that the rest of her face fell just a bit. Someone who knew would be able to tell that, while not devastated, such a display still hurt the sheriff. Someone such as Mayor Eridan.

"Alright, let's reel this out," the mayor said, pushing a few people away. "I'll post an official report of the in-sea-dent tomorrow, so watch for it then."

"Getting tired, Eri?" Terezi asked, grinning in full force again as the two sat at the bar. Eridan waved a hand dismissively.

"If you want to sea it that way," he said, nodding to Rose as the woman gave him his usual.

"Rye? Heheh, you struck me as more of the bourbon kind," Terezi said, leaning her head on her hand as Eridan took a drink.

"Rye tastes better with kelp juice," he said, wiping at his upper lip. Terezi arched a brow.

"Kelp juice? That must be hard to come by," she said, grinning. Eridan rested his chin in his hand.

"Very. Miss Lalonde is kind enough to kelp it on fin for me," he said. He was looking down at his drink, some bittersweet thoughts on his relationship with the sheriff swirling behind his eyes. Terezi watched him a moment, then picked up his drink.

"Mind if I give it a try?" she asked, taking a swig before Eridan could respond. She set it down, crinkling her noise at the taste. She slid the glass to Eridan, sticking out her tongue. "It's salty."

"That's the kelp juice," Eridan said. He was trying not to smile; he'd never met someone so bold as to try his drink before, and found the reaction amusing. Terezi noticed, and grinned.

"Heheh, I like 'em sweet," she said, waggling her eyebrows suggestively. "Maybe I should choose men the way I choose my drinks." Eridan stared in disbelief, eyes widening.

"I, erm, wouldn't know," he said, blushing as he took another drink. She couldn't have been suggesting… right? It's not like he was sweet… he… he… Eridan jumped as Terezi rested a hand on his leg, drink sputtering onto his chin.

"Heheh, you're too fun to tease, Eri," she said. Eridan sighed, wiping himself off. Of course, just teasing, that made sense. The mayor frowned, looking down at himself.

"Well, at least one of us is entertained," he said, accepting a towel as Rose appeared once again, efficient as ever. Terezi frowned; then she picked up Eridan's drink again. To his surprise, she took another drink. Swishing it around in her mouth, she examined the glass before swallowing.

"You know, I think it's growing on me," she said, then flashed Eridan a grin. The mayor stared for a minute, then looked away, blushing again as he ordered another drink.

Meanwhile, Equius dithered a few feet from the piano, sweating buckets. Beside him, Nepeta sighed dramatically.

"Will you just go already? He'll be fine with it!" she said, walking around to fruitlessly push him forward.

"I am not as exceptionally confident as you are," Equius said, twiddling his thumbs. Nepeta huffed, then stalked around to stand in front of the blacksmith.

"As your meowrail, I hereby order you to go talk to John," she said, pointing to said sheriff's assistant. Equius bit his lip, then sighed and walked over, scratching the back of his neck.

"Ahem, mister Egbert, I wished to speak with you on a matter of importance," he said. John looked up, curious and smiling.

"Oh, hi Equius. Sure, what's up?" he asked. Equius glanced at Nepeta, who smiled encouragingly. The troll took a deep breathe.

"I… I wished to exact from you permission to court your sister, miss Jade," he asked, forcing himself not to wring his wrists. John stared a moment, then grinned.

"That's awesome, dude! But, I mean, you don't really have to ask my permission; it's up to Jade who she likes," he said. "And if she likes you, then I'm good with that."

"Oh, ah… thank you, John," Equius said, grinning despite himself and sweating profusely. "If you would excuse me, I think I need a towel."

"No problem," John said, smiling as Equius walked away. Nepeta gave her moirail a congratulatory slap on the back, walking with him as he returned to the bar. John returned his focus to playing, enjoying himself since he hadn't been able to do so for a while. As such, he didn't notice Karkat's approached until the troll plopped down next to him on the bench, leaning against him. "I thought you were going to sleep?"

"Yeah, well…" Karkat said, but then sighed. John giggled.

"Dude, you really couldn't sleep alone?" he asked. Karkat elbowed him in the rib, hard. John winced, but shook it off, still grinning.

"No! I have a fucking sleep disorder, nooksucker! It has nothing to do with you," the troll said, clearly pouting. John giggled again.

"Okay, whatever you say, Karkat," he said, continuing to play. Karkat remained leaning against him for the rest of the night. Though he was only half awake for the majority of it; and when it was finally time to turn in, John had to half carry him up to the apartment. Not that he was complaining.

Beyond this, the night passed in relative calm.

At least, the night in Veiltown did.

===== Alternia City, earlier that night

"Welcome to the court, Judge Mayar Scratch prisidin'," Ms. Snowman called over the light din of the audience. Mayor Scratch nodded to her as he stepped up to the judge's box, standing with his hands lightly clasped behind his back. "Brang in the accused; drug lard Vreska Serket."

Members of the audience started a ruckus as Vriska was dragged forward by two law officers, set down in the chair of the accused before Mayor Scratch. She smiled smugly, aware that she was most likely going to rot and jail, but refusing to give anyone the satisfaction of seeing her in distress. She crossed her legs as she sat, turning to grin at the audience; most of whom had lost a loved one to her enterprises. Ms. Snowman stepped before her.

"Do y'all understand the chahrges brought against ya?" she asked, a hand on her hip. Vriska chuckled.

"I understand all of the charges; all of them," she said. Ms. Snowman rolled her eyes.

"And do ya agree to be charged by a jury of ya peers?" she asked. Vriska snorted.

"I doubt that they're my peers," she said. Mayor Scratch cleared his throat politely.

"If I may interrupt, Miss. Serket," he said. Then he gestured to the jury. "I have taken great pains in assuring this jury is indeed of your peers."

Sitting in the jury box was the man formerly known as Jack Noir, as well as the entirety of his crew and some members of his rival gang, the Felt. Vriska's grin grew wider, and she looked up at Mayor Scratch.

Oh, how fun this would be.

===== Be Diamonds Droog

Ya're Diamonds Droog, and ya just got out of a rigged trial for some troll bitch. But she was a useful kind of bitch; had resources y'all and Slick's gang didn' have access too. Which was why ya standin' outside the courthouse, waitin' for the troll bitch to be released.

Ya were having a smoke, leanin' up against the brick wall outside the backdoor of the building. The door opened, and the troll bitch strolled out, smug as a criminal gettin' away scotch free. Which made sense, since she was. Ya took a drag before pushing off the wall, blowing the smoke out as the troll bitch turned to look at ya.

"My boss heard about how that Pyrope bitch tried to put ya in the slammer," ya say. The troll bitch snorts.

"Yes, she did. But I will be getting my revenge; all of the revenge, all of it," she said, tossin' her hair over her shoulda. Ya take anotha drag.

"Girl afta my own heart," ya say. "But what d'ya say if I make ya an offer… ya can't refuse?"

"Are you offering to be in cahoots against Pyrope?" the troll bitch says, crossin' her arms. Ya smirk, reachin' in yer pocket.

"Somethin' like that. Hows about a show of good faith?" ya say, holdin' out yer hand. Restin' on yer palm were the troll bitch's dice. She stares at 'em.

"Where did you get these?" she asked, taking them from ya and tossin' 'em in her hand. Ya take anotha drag before answerin'.

"Around," ya say. The troll bitch smirks at ya, tossin' her dice and catchin' 'em again. Then she holds out her hand to ya.

"You've got a deal," she says. Ya smirk and shake on it.

This looked like the beginnin' of a beautiful friendship.


End file.
